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Your Disgusting Head
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Book Synopsis Your Disgusting Head by : Doris Haggis-On-Whey
Download or read book Your Disgusting Head written by Doris Haggis-On-Whey and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2010-06-15 with total page 72 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In Your Disgusting Head, Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-on-Whey reveal—through newly discovered discoveries—all the ways in which your head disappoints you. For many years the scientific and educational community has wondered and worried about the possibility that semi-sane scholar-pretenders would find the means to put out a series of reference books, filled with ludicrous misinformation and aimed at children. Well, we offer you Your Disgusting Head by Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey. A world-renowned and much feared expert on everything, Dr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey has seventeen degrees from eighteen institutions of higher learning. With her husband, Benny, she has traveled the world many times over, has learned about all aspects of life, including outer space and food, first hand. The human body is beautiful and mysterious. The mysterious part reeks of cheese. But no part of your body is as scary and horrifying as your head! In Your Disgusting Head, you’ll find amazing information, such as: · The ear was invented and designed by Feranando de la Mancini Goldfarb, in 1911, which was also a good year for yeast. · Good Reasons for teeth removal: dentist did it; peer pressure; not sharp enough; found better teeth, like, on the ground; suspected of enjoying flossing; decay and mouth politics. · The real reason your ears can't hear your pets talking. The answer is simple: your pet is a mumbler." With the wit and irreverent sense of humor for which Dave Eggers and McSweeney's is known, comes the second volume in the revolutionary Haggis-On-Whey World of Unbelievable Brilliance books. More than just entertaining and informative, Your Disgusting Head will help you appear smarter, more in touch with your sensitive side and whiten your teeth. And much, much more that will likely sicken you.
Download or read book Tricks with Your Head written by Mac King and published by Crown Archetype. This book was released on 2010-05-12 with total page 206 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Mac King is a god.” —Penn and Teller Tricks with Your Head is the world’s greatest (and only) collection of hilarious, mystifying, and sometimes repulsive magic tricks that you can perform with your very own head. If you’ve only thought of your head as a receptacle for so-called higher learning, or as a structure for keeping your haircut from falling into your body cavity, rejoice! Now you can use that ten-pound meatball between your shoulders as a source of ribald entertainment. Best of all, when you learn to perform a head trick, you can never be caught without your prop. Mac King and Mark Levy have perfected the ultimate mix of head games (literally) in this clever illustrated volume that teaches you how to: * Make your head disappear * Penetrate your skull with a drinking straw * Make a french fry vanish up your nose * Read someone’s mind * Jab a fork in your eye
Book Synopsis Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal by : Mary Roach
Download or read book Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal written by Mary Roach and published by W. W. Norton & Company. This book was released on 2014-04 with total page 353 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The irresistible, ever-curious, and always bestselling Roach returns with a new adventure to the invisible realm that people carry around inside.
Book Synopsis I Know This Much Is True by : Wally Lamb
Download or read book I Know This Much Is True written by Wally Lamb and published by Cambridge University Press. This book was released on 1998-06-03 with total page 884 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: With his stunning debut novel, She's Come Undone, Wally Lamb won the adulation of critics and readers with his mesmerizing tale of one woman's painful yet triumphant journey of self-discovery. Now, this brilliantly talented writer returns with I Know This Much Is True, a heartbreaking and poignant multigenerational saga of the reproductive bonds of destruction and the powerful force of forgiveness. A masterpiece that breathtakingly tells a story of alienation and connection, power and abuse, devastation and renewal--this novel is a contemporary retelling of an ancient Hindu myth. A proud king must confront his demons to achieve salvation. Change yourself, the myth instructs, and you will inhabit a renovated world. When you're the same brother of a schizophrenic identical twin, the tricky thing about saving yourself is the blood it leaves on your bands--the little inconvenience of the look-alike corpse at your feet. And if you're into both survival of the fittest and being your brother's keeper--if you've promised your dying mother--then say so long to sleep and hello to the middle of the night. Grab a book or a beer. Get used to Letterman's gap-toothed smile of the absurd, or the view of the bedroom ceiling, or the influence of random selection. Take it from a godless insomniac. Take it from the uncrazy twin--the guy who beat the biochemical rap. Dominick Birdsey's entire life has been compromised and constricted by anger and fear, by the paranoid schizophrenic twin brother he both deeply loves and resents, and by the past they shared with their adoptive father, Ray, a spit-and-polish ex-Navy man (the five-foot-six-inch sleeping giant who snoozed upstairs weekdays in the spare room and built submarines at night), and their long-suffering mother, Concettina, a timid woman with a harelip that made her shy and self-conscious: She holds a loose fist to her face to cover her defective mouth--her perpetual apology to the world for a birth defect over which she'd had no control. Born in the waning moments of 1949 and the opening minutes of 1950, the twins are physical mirror images who grow into separate yet connected entities: the seemingly strong and protective yet fearful Dominick, his mother's watchful "monkey"; and the seemingly weak and sweet yet noble Thomas, his mother's gentle "bunny." From childhood, Dominick fights for both separation and wholeness--and ultimately self-protection--in a house of fear dominated by Ray, a bully who abuses his power over these stepsons whose biological father is a mystery. I was still afraid of his anger but saw how he punished weakness--pounced on it. Out of self-preservation I hid my fear, Dominick confesses. As for Thomas, he just never knew how to play defense. He just didn't get it. But Dominick's talent for survival comes at an enormous cost, including the breakup of his marriage to the warm, beautiful Dessa, whom he still loves. And it will be put to the ultimate test when Thomas, a Bible-spouting zealot, commits an unthinkable act that threatens the tenuous balance of both his and Dominick's lives. To save himself, Dominick must confront not only the pain of his past but the dark secrets he has locked deep within himself, and the sins of his ancestors--a quest that will lead him beyond the confines of his blue-collar New England town to the volcanic foothills of Sicily 's Mount Etna, where his ambitious and vengefully proud grandfather and a namesake Domenico Tempesta, the sostegno del famiglia, was born. Each of the stories Ma told us about Papa reinforced the message that he was the boss, that he ruled the roost, that what he said went. Searching for answers, Dominick turns to the whispers of the dead, to the pages of his grandfather's handwritten memoir, The History of Domenico Onofrio Tempesta, a Great Man from Humble Beginnings. Rendered with touches of magic realism, Domenico's fablelike tale--in which monkeys enchant and religious statues weep--becomes the old man's confession--an unwitting legacy of contrition that reveals the truth's of Domenico's life, Dominick learns that power, wrongly used, defeats the oppressor as well as the oppressed, and now, picking through the humble shards of his deconstructed life, he will search for the courage and love to forgive, to expiate his and his ancestors' transgressions, and finally to rebuild himself beyond the haunted shadow of his twin. Set against the vivid panoply of twentieth-century America and filled with richly drawn, memorable characters, this deeply moving and thoroughly satisfying novel brings to light humanity's deepest needs and fears, our aloneness, our desire for love and acceptance, our struggle to survive at all costs. Joyous, mystical, and exquisitely written, I Know This Much Is True is an extraordinary reading experience that will leave no reader untouched.
Download or read book The Rat written by Elise Gravel and published by Tundra Books. This book was released on 2014-08-05 with total page 34 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One in a series of humorous books about disgusting creatures, The Rat is a look at the black rat. It covers such topics as the rat's long, agile tail (it's good for balancing and picking noses), long teeth (they can chew through anything, including books) and disgusting taste in food (delicious electrical wires in tomato sauce, anyone?). Although silly and off-the-wall, The Rat contains factual information that will both amuse and teach at the same time.
Download or read book Mental written by Bart Yates and published by Kensington Books. This book was released on 2009-07-01 with total page 294 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Book Synopsis Curiosity House: The Shrunken Head by : Lauren Oliver
Download or read book Curiosity House: The Shrunken Head written by Lauren Oliver and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2015-09-29 with total page 198 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Edgar Award nominee for Best Juvenile Mystery The book is about, among other things: the strongest boy in the world, a talking cockatoo, a faulty mind reader, a beautiful bearded lady and a nervous magician, an old museum, and a shrunken head. Blessed with extraordinary abilities, orphans Philippa, Sam, and Thomas have grown up happily in Dumfrey’s Dime Museum of Freaks, Oddities, and Wonders. But when a fourth child, Max, a knife-thrower, joins the group, it sets off an unforgettable chain of events. When the museum’s Amazonian shrunken head is stolen, the four are determined to get it back. But their search leads them to a series of murders and an explosive secret about their pasts. This sensational new series—a 2016 Edgar nominee for Best Juvenile book and New York Times bestseller—combines the unparalleled storytelling gifts of Lauren Oliver with the rich knowledge of the notorious relics collector H. C. Chester. What you will find in this book: A rather attractive bearded lady Several scandalous murders A deliciously disgusting Amazonian shrunken head Four extraordinary children with equally extraordinary abilities A quite loquacious talking bird What you will NOT find in this book: An accountant named Seymour A never-ending line at the post office Brussel sprouts (shudder) A lecture on finishing all your homework on time A sweet, gooey story for nice little girls and boys Learn more about the series online at www.thecuriosityhouse.com
Book Synopsis Does the Noise in My Head Bother You? by : Steven Tyler
Download or read book Does the Noise in My Head Bother You? written by Steven Tyler and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2011-05-03 with total page 375 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Steven Tyler is one of the giants of American music, who’s been influential for a whole generation of Rock ’n’ Roll fans around the world. Long May He Rock!” —Sir Paul McCartney Does the Noise in My Head Bother You? is the rock memoir to end all rock memoirs—the straight-up, no-holds-barred life of Grammy Award-winning, Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame inductee, and all around superstar legend Steven Tyler, lead singer of Aerosmith (and celebrity judge on American Idol). This is it—“the unbridled truth, the in-your-face, up-close and prodigious tale of Steven Tyler straight from the horse’s lips”—as Tyler tells all, from the early years through the glory days, “All the unexpurgated, brain-jangling tales of debauchery, sex & drugs. and transcendence you will ever want to hear.”
Book Synopsis Cold Fusion by : Doris Haggis-On-Whey
Download or read book Cold Fusion written by Doris Haggis-On-Whey and published by McSweeneys Books. This book was released on 2009 with total page 54 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Shares humorous misinformation about the the process of cold fusion.
Download or read book Death's Head written by David Gunn and published by Del Rey. This book was released on 2007-05-01 with total page 348 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Set in a chillingly realistic far-future world, and featuring a gritty antihero even more frightening than the evil empire he serves as soldier and assassin, Death’s Head is sure to be one of the most talked-about novels of the year. David Gunn is loaded—and he shoots to kill. At the top of the galactic pecking order is the United Free, a civilization of awe-inspiring technological prowess so far in advance of other space-faring powers as to seem untouchable gods. Most of the known universe has fallen under their inscrutable sway. The rest is squabbled over by two empires: one ruled with an iron fist by OctoV, a tyrant who appears to his followers as a teenage boy but is in reality something very different, the other administered by the Uplifted, bizarre machinelike intelligences, and their no-longer-quite-human servants, cyborgs known as the Enlightened. Sven Tveskoeg, an ex-sergeant demoted for insubordination and sentenced to death, is a vicious killer with a stubborn streak of loyalty. Sven possesses a fierce if untutored intelligence and a genetic makeup that is 98.2 percent human and 1.8 percent . . . something else. Perhaps that “something else” explains how quickly he heals from even the worst injuries or how he can communicate telepathically with the ferox, fearsome alien savages whose natural fighting abilities regularly outperform the advanced technology of their human enemies. Perhaps it is these unique abilities that bring Sven to the attention of OctoV. Drafted into the Death’s Head, the elite enforcers of OctoV’s imperial will, Sven is given a new lease on life. Armed with a SIG diabolo–an intelligent gun–and an illegal symbiont called a kyp, Sven is sent to a faraway planet, the latest battleground between the Uplifted and OctoV. There he finds himself in the midst of a military disaster, one that will take all his courage—and all his firepower—to survive. But an even deadlier struggle is taking place, a struggle that will draw the attention of the United Free. Sven knows he is a pawn, and pawns have a bad habit of being sacrificed. But Sven is nobody’s sacrifice. And even a pawn can checkmate a king. Praise for Death's Head “The finest military science-fiction debut in years.”—Kirkus Reviews “Hardboiled, laser-blasting science fiction as it’s meant to be.”—Charlie Huston, author of Caught Stealing and Already Dead
Download or read book Egghead written by Bo Burnham and published by Grand Central Publishing. This book was released on 2013-10-01 with total page 278 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A strange and charming collection of hilariously absurd poetry, writing, and illustration from one of today's most popular young comedians?Ķ Bo Burnham was a precocious teenager living in his parents' attic when he started posting material on YouTube. 100 million people viewed those videos, turning Bo into an online sensation with a huge and dedicated following. Bo taped his first of two Comedy Central specials four days after his 18th birthday, making him the youngest to do so in the channel's history. Now Bo is a rising star in the comedy world, revered for his utterly original and intelligent voice. And, he can SIIIIIIIIING! In Egghead, Bo brings his brand of brainy, emotional comedy to the page in the form of off-kilter poems, thoughts, and more. Teaming up with his longtime friend, artist, and illustrator Chance Bone, Bo takes on everything from death to farts in this weird book that will make you think, laugh and think, "why did I just laugh?"
Download or read book Heads in Beds written by Jacob Tomsky and published by Anchor. This book was released on 2012-11-20 with total page 250 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the tradition of Kitchen Confidential and Waiter Rant, a rollicking, eye-opening, fantastically indiscreet memoir of a life spent (and misspent) in the hotel industry. “Highly amusing."—New York Times Jacob Tomsky never intended to go into the hotel business. As a new college graduate, armed only with a philosophy degree and a singular lack of career direction, he became a valet parker for a large luxury hotel in New Orleans. Yet, rising fast through the ranks, he ended up working in “hospitality” for more than a decade, doing everything from supervising the housekeeping department to manning the front desk at an upscale Manhattan hotel. He’s checked you in, checked you out, separated your white panties from the white bed sheets, parked your car, tasted your room-service meals, cleaned your toilet, denied you a late checkout, given you a wake-up call, eaten M&Ms out of your minibar, laughed at your jokes, and taken your money. In Heads in Beds he pulls back the curtain to expose the crazy and compelling reality of a multi-billion-dollar industry we think we know. Heads in Beds is a funny, authentic, and irreverent chronicle of the highs and lows of hotel life, told by a keenly observant insider who’s seen it all. Prepare to be amused, shocked, and amazed as he spills the unwritten code of the bellhops, the antics that go on in the valet parking garage, the housekeeping department’s dirty little secrets—not to mention the shameless activities of the guests, who are rarely on their best behavior. Prepare to be moved, too, by his candor about what it’s like to toil in a highly demanding service industry at the luxury level, where people expect to get what they pay for (and often a whole lot more). Employees are poorly paid and frequently abused by coworkers and guests alike, and maintaining a semblance of sanity is a daily challenge. Along his journey Tomsky also reveals the secrets of the industry, offering easy ways to get what you need from your hotel without any hassle. This book (and a timely proffered twenty-dollar bill) will help you score late checkouts and upgrades, get free stuff galore, and make that pay-per-view charge magically disappear. Thanks to him you’ll know how to get the very best service from any business that makes its money from putting heads in beds. Or, at the very least, you will keep the bellmen from taking your luggage into the camera-free back office and bashing it against the wall repeatedly.
Book Synopsis Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by : Mary Roach
Download or read book Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers written by Mary Roach and published by W. W. Norton & Company. This book was released on 2004-04-27 with total page 305 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A look inside the world of forensics examines the use of human cadavers in a wide range of endeavors, including research into new surgical procedures, space exploration, and a Tennessee human decay research facility.
Download or read book Bugs in My Hair! written by David Shannon and published by Scholastic Inc.. This book was released on 2016-09-27 with total page 38 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Is something bugging you? Bestselling award-winner David Shannon shows the funny side of waging war against -- oh no! -- head lice. This book is guaranteed to make you laugh -- and itch! From the opening picture of a happy, oversized louse appearing with his suitcases, you know these bugs are determined to stay, and Mom is about to go nuts! Nobody talks about them, but they are everywhere. (Some estimate 20 million children a year host them.) Oh the shame and humiliation of having bugs in your hair! But if you go to school, or have play dates, chances are good you might meet them someday. Maybe you already have! Lucky for you, the unwelcome bugs in this story are so funny you will be laughing aloud -- even when Mom attacks them with battle-tested anti-lice weapons.Shannon peppers his hilarious scenes with fun, "nitpicking" facts about these "lousy" critters and pokes fun at common denial: "It's probably ash from that volcano in Pogo Pogo."Soon the party's over -- Bye bye, Little Nasties! Once again Shannon has created a fresh, highly entertaining read-aloud classic that begs to be read again and again.
Book Synopsis No, It Is Not In My Head by : Nicole Hemmenway
Download or read book No, It Is Not In My Head written by Nicole Hemmenway and published by Morgan James Publishing. This book was released on 2010-04-06 with total page 252 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “A story of triumph and courage . . . Nicole Hemmenway demonstrates hope, guts and faith for any chronic pain sufferer or caregiver” (Betsy Turner Nunley, author of Preemie to Woman in Sixty Short Years). At seventeen, Nicole Hemmenway believed her life was just beginning. She was a senior in high school looking forward to college and living on her own. However, all her dreams vanished the moment she became injured. Diagnosed with complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS), she soon learned that mainstream medicine viewed her pain and symptoms as being untreatable and incurable. She was living a nightmare. With no use of her right hand and minimal use of her arm, she depended on massive amounts of narcotics to survive each day. Yet even that could not control her agony. The crippling pain was so paralyzing that she faced periods where she was bedridden or wheelchair bound. All she had to hold on to was hope. Hope that her miracle would someday arrive . . . No, It Is Not in My Head is a courageous memoir that presents answers and allows others to believe in the unimaginable. “A must-read for anyone suffering from chronic pain or anyone who knows someone battling it . . . No, It Is Not in My Head is not a cure for pain, but more a cure for hopelessness. . . . Beautifully written, incredibly inspirational and highly recommended!” —Robin Cain, author of The Secret Miss Rabbit Kept “A riveting and uplifting tale, not to be missed.” —Midwest Book Review
Download or read book Puppy in My Head written by Elise Gravel and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2021-01-05 with total page 35 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Kids experience anxiety and can feel overwhelmed just like adults do, and this picture book serves as both a story and a step-by-step guide to help calm kids down. Ollie is the puppy living inside of our narrator's head, and when Ollie panics or is too energetic, the narrator feels that way, too! But she learns to handle the situation with her breath and her mindfulness, and by talking it out with an adult. In plain language and with a rare sense of understanding and compassion, Elise Gravel tackles anxiety in children head-on with bold colors and whimsical illustrations. This picture book also features a note from a pediatrician on the importance of mental health. Perfect for bedtime or the classroom, readers will walk away a little more well-equipped to handle the puppies in their own heads.
Book Synopsis Diary of an Oxygen Thief by : Anonymous
Download or read book Diary of an Oxygen Thief written by Anonymous and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2016-05-23 with total page 136 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Hurt people hurt people. Say there was a novel in which Holden Caulfield was an alcoholic and Lolita was a photographer’s assistant and, somehow, they met in Bright Lights, Big City. He’s blinded by love. She by ambition. Diary of an Oxygen Thief is an honest, hilarious, and heartrending novel, but above all, a very realistic account of what we do to each other and what we allow to have done to us.
