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The Best Of Lil Johnny Jokes
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Book Synopsis Little Johnny Sarcasm and Wit by : John Laird
Download or read book Little Johnny Sarcasm and Wit written by John Laird and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2009-03 with total page 106 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For those not familiar with Little Johnny, he cleverly exemplifies some of the more sarcastic qualities of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes, Bart from The Simpsons, or any one of the South Park characters. While a casual observer might mistake his sarcasm as youthful ignorance, a closer look reveals just how calculated his wit can be. And it's this wit that has yet to be made collectively available to humor enthusiasts...until now. Little Johnny Sarcasm and Wit is the result of an exhaustive search around the world (wide web, mostly), countless hours sifting through archives (unsolicited email, mostly), and documenting renowned comedians (wannabes, mostly). The immediate fallout of this undertaking was quite rough around the edges, but through shrewd editing emerged a hearty collection of the most whimsical Little Johnny anecdotes available each having a unique ebb and flow.
Book Synopsis The Best Of Li'l Johnny Jokes by : Various
Download or read book The Best Of Li'l Johnny Jokes written by Various and published by Psicom Publishing Inc. This book was released on with total page 144 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Psicom Publishing Inc
Book Synopsis My Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Silly Book of Pranks by : Matt Lucas
Download or read book My Very Very Very Very Very Very Very Silly Book of Pranks written by Matt Lucas and published by HarperCollins UK. This book was released on 2021-04-01 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A hilarious new book of pranks from multi-award-winning actor and comedian MATT LUCAS – star of The Great British Bake Off and creator of Thank You, Baked Potato, an official UK download chart-topper and Amazon bestseller!
Book Synopsis The Official Dirty Johnny Jokebook by : Rob Loughran
Download or read book The Official Dirty Johnny Jokebook written by Rob Loughran and published by Createspace Independent Pub. This book was released on 2013-06-11 with total page 54 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Can I,” Dirty Johnny asked his mother, “have some money for candy?”“What happened to the five-dollar allowance I give you every Saturday?” asked mom.“I've been giving it to the old homeless man in the park.”Mom is so proud of her son. His charity and giving spirit; his humanity. She opens her wallet and hands him a five dollar bill. “I'm very proud of you Johnny, sharing the way you have been. But this money you keep for yourself. If you continue giving money to the homeless they'll never get a job.”“But this homeless guy has a job.”“Really? What does he do?”“Every Saturday morning, for five dollars, he sucks my cock.”The sex-education teacher drew a penis on the blackboard and asked the class, “does anybody know what this is?”Dirty Johnny stands up and says, “It's a cock. My dad has two of them.”“Your father has two penises?” asked the teacher.“Yeah. The little one he pisses out of and the big one he uses to brush the babysitter's teeth.” A pit bull chased Dirty Johnny up a tree. The owner came by and said, “Sorry kid. I was bringing him to the vet's to have his balls snipped. The operation will calm him down, this will never happen again.”“I have a better idea, asshole,” said Johnny. “Why don't you remove his teeth? I could see from a block away he wasn't going to fuck me.”Dirty Johnny calls up the principal and says, “I'm sick and can't come to school today.” “Johnny,” asks the principal, “how sick are you?”“I just,” says Johnny, “fucked my grandma up the ass is that sick enough for you?”“Okay class,” says the teacher, “I'm going through the alphabet and I'm going to call on someone for the letters a, b, c, and so on. When called upon, say a word that starts with that letter then use that word in a sentence.” Immediately, Dirty Johnny's hand is in the air but the teacher can't call on him because he'll say ass, then bitch, cunt, damn, excrement, fuck, goddam, horseshit, intercourse, jackin' off etc. Finally she gets to z. There's no swear word that starts with z. so she calls on Dirty Johnny who says, “Z. Zoo. Last summer I went to the zoo and saw an elephant that had the biggest fucking cock I have ever seen.” The civics teacher said, “Class, I am going to tell you every attribute you need to have in order to be elected president of the United States.”“Fucking liar,” said Dirty Johnny.“That, ironically, is number one on the list.”Dirty Johnny got an electric train for Christmas. He quickly assembled the train and began playing conductor: “All aboard, you assholes. All whores sit in the aisle seats. That will facilitate all the cock sucking you'll be doing today.”“Johnny,” said his mother, rushing in from the kitchen, “you turn that train off and sit in the corner for a half hour. Using language like that!”A half hour later Johnny switches his train back on and says, “Good day and welcome to DFJ railways. I hope you enjoy your journey; if there are any complaints about the delay in service you can talk to the fucking bitch in the kitchen.” A behavioral psychologist devised an experiment to test how quickly children can associate color with taste. The experiment consisted of placing a bowl of Life Savers in front of a group of second graders. After a few tries the kids would say: “Red tastes just like cherry. Yellow tastes just like pineapple. Green…Lime, Orange…Orange.”Then he gave them a honey Life Saver, but none of them could identify it. He said, “I'll give you a hint. This flavor is something your mommy calls your daddy.”Dirty Johnny said, “Spit them out! He's feeding us assholes.” Dirty Johnny says to his neighbor, “Mom's sick and I need $100 to check her into the hospital.”“How do I know,” says the neighbor, “that you won't spend the money on drugs?”“Fuck you,” says Johnny. “I've got drug money.”Many many many more sick and twisted Dirty Johnny jokes inside...
Book Synopsis My Favorite Jokes by : Gene Crawford
Download or read book My Favorite Jokes written by Gene Crawford and published by Dorrance Publishing. This book was released on 2020-06-09 with total page 171 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: My Favorite Jokes By: Gene Crawford Some people collect baseball cards; some people collect cars; some people collect dolls; some people collect bottles—Gene Crawford collects jokes. He has done this since he was in high school. He has written many jokes from memory (from hearing them years ago). Also, friends know he collects jokes, so, they send them to him now and then. Jokes he shares must clear a hurdle—they must be clean enough for his grandchildren to read (they are ages eleven to seventeen). He’s tried carefully to follow this rule, even though, in about three jokes, he did put in a few dashes (finish the spelling carefully). He doesn’t know how many jokes he has collected—maybe about three thousand. But here are some of his favorite jokes. Maybe there are some jokes in this file that will produce some belly laughs for you—they sure have for Gene Crawford… and for a long, long time.
Book Synopsis Pretty Good Joke Book by : Garrison Keillor
Download or read book Pretty Good Joke Book written by Garrison Keillor and published by Blackstone Publishing. This book was released on 2021-08-10 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Over 2,200 Jokes from America’s favorite live radio show A treasury of hilarity from Garrison Keillor and the cast of public radio’s A Prairie Home Companion. A guy walks into a bar. Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. A termite jumps up on the bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?” Drum roll. The Sixth Edition of the perennially popular Pretty Good Joke Book is everything the first five were and more. More puns, one-liners, light bulb jokes, knock-knock jokes, and third-grader jokes (have you heard the one about Elvis Parsley?). More religion jokes, political jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes, and jokes in questionable taste (Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers). More jokes about chickens, relationships, and senior moments (the nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you can enjoy the same jokes again and again). It all started back in 1996, when A Prairie Home Companion fans laughed themselves silly during the first Joke Show. The broadcast was such a hit that it became an almost-annual gagfest. Then fans wanted to read the jokes, share them, and pass them around, and the first Pretty Good Joke Book was born. With over 200 new and updated jokes, the latest edition promises countless giggles, chortles, and guffaws anyone—fans of the radio show or not—will enjoy.
Book Synopsis 100+ Knock Knock Jokes by : Johnny B. Laughing
Download or read book 100+ Knock Knock Jokes written by Johnny B. Laughing and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2015-06-09 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Best-Selling Joke Book for Kids! Are you looking for a fun book to keep the kids entertained and happy? This funny joke book for kids is excellent for early and beginning readers. Laughing and jokes have been proven to have positive mental and physical effects on the body! This books is especially great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. 100+ knock knock funny jokes Excellent for early and beginner readers Hours of fun and entertainment for kids and children Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud Funny and hilarious knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. From this Funny Joke Book... Knock knock! Who's there? Bless! Bless who? I didn't sneeze! LOL! Knock knock! Who's there? Auntie! Auntie who? Auntie glad to see me again! HAHA! Knock knock! Who's there? Zeke! Zeke who? Zeke and ye shall find! LOL! Knock knock! Who's there? Arnie! Arnie who! Arnie having fun? HAHA! Knock knock! Who's there? Carl! Carl who? Carl get you there faster than walking will! Best-Selling Author ~ Johnny B. Laughing The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This awesome joke book for kids is easy to read and full of laughs! WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically! Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today! Tags: funny knock knock jokes for kids, funny joke, funny jokes, lol, jokes, food, joke book, knock knock book, ebook, books, funny, knock knock jokes, ebooks, funny jokes, kids, haha, hilarious, children, joke, kid, funny jokes for children, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book, kids books, funny knock knock jokes, joke book, food book, joke books, hilarious, lol, laughing, laughter, knock knock, funny jokes, funny joke book, book for kids, kindle book, kindle ebook, joke, jokes, jokes for kids, jokes for children, knock knock jokes, knock knock jokes for kids, funny jokes, jokes online, comedy, humor, early reader, beginning reader, laugh, laughter, funniest jokes, ages5-12, ages 6-8, ages 9-12, comedy, humor
Book Synopsis 400+ Funny Jokes by : Johnny Laughing
Download or read book 400+ Funny Jokes written by Johnny Laughing and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2015-06-09 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 400+ Funny Jokes for Kids! Are you looking for a fun book to keep the kids entertained and happy? This funny joke book for kids is excellent for early and beginning readers. Laughing and jokes have been proven to have positive mental and physical effects on the body! This books is especially great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. 400+ funny jokes Excellent for early and beginner readers Hours of fun and entertainment for kids and children Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud Funny and hilarious jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This awesome joke book for kids is easy to read and full of laughs! WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically! Bird Jokes Bug Jokes Cat Jokes Cow Jokes Dinosaur Jokes Elephant Jokes Fish Jokes Food Jokes Frog Jokes Horse Jokes Knock Knock Jokes Monkey Jokes Pig Jokes Rabbit Jokes School Jokes Snake Jokes Sports Jokes From this Funny Joke Book... Q: What happens when ducks fly upside down? A: They quack up! HAHA! Q: What type of tool did cave men use? A: A dino-saw! LOL! Q: What food is good for the brain? A: Noodle soup! HAHA! Q: What does a gorilla learn first in school? A: The apey-cees! LOL! Q: What is a runner's favorite subject in school? A: Jog-raphy! 400+ Funny Jokes for Kids! (Clean Jokes for Children) This MASSIVE collection of 400+ funny jokes is one of the funniest collections in the world! This joke book is excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Johnny B. Laughing is the online comedy king! Scroll up and click 'buy' to get your copy today! Tags: animal, animals, jokes, chicken, chickens, cow, cows, pig, pigs, horse, horses, online, animal jokes online, book, books, ebook, funny, ebooks, comedy, hilarious, joke book about animals, baby animals, animal books, kids joke book, children's joke book, ebook, laugh, kids jokes, kids joke books, animal book, farm animal book, childrens joke book, childrens joke books, laughing, lol, haha, best jokes, funniest jokes, farm animal jokes, funny jokes, funny joke, hilarious, jokes online, reptiles, amphibians, comedy, hilarious jokes, mammals, laugh, laughing, clean jokes, clean jokes for kids, free joke book, free jokes, free gift included, best jokes, funniest jokes, in the world, farm animals, farm, farms, farm animal, kids jokes about animals, animal book, free gift included, free joke book download, free joke book, kindle unlimited books for kids, kindle unlimited, funny jokes, jokes for kids, kids jokes, ages 4-8, ages 6-8, preschool, early reader, beginner readers, funny animal books, kindle book, kindle joke book, jokes for kids, kids jokes, childrens jokes, funny jokes
Book Synopsis Let's Eat in the Funny Zone by : Gary Chmielewski
Download or read book Let's Eat in the Funny Zone written by Gary Chmielewski and published by Norwood House Press. This book was released on 2008-01-01 with total page 26 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This fully illustrated book is jam-packed with over 100 food-themed jokes, tongue twisters, and "Daffynitions". Includes creative writing information and exercises written by literacy consultant Shannon Cannon which encourage readers to write jokes of their own.
Download or read book Here's Johnny! written by Ed McMahon and published by HarperChristian + ORM. This book was released on 2005-10-16 with total page 234 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Here's Johnny is like sitting with Ed and Johnny over lunch: The last time I saw Johnny, about a year before he died, we had chicken, a couple of glasses of red wine, and then we just sat there and reminisced, going back and forth the way we did on the show. We talked about our kids, and our careers and the state of America, just two lucky guys who loved each other and the good luck of our careers. Ed McMahon is the only person who was with Johnny Carson, even before The Tonight Show, when they both first appeared on Who Do You Trust. Now, with Johnny's blessing before he died, McMahon can finally share all the stories that only he knows. From the sofa at Johnny's right, to backstage, to their personal relationship - McMahon will provide a real view of the man who was so careful to only show one side of himself to the public. Brilliant in front of the camera, but shy in person, Carson seldom gave interviews. Only McMahon can tell the stories and provide the insights into the personality that made Johnny Carson more of a friend we invited into our home than a television star. This entertaining tribute will feature over 200 pictures, many never before published, from both McMahon's and Carson's private archives.
Book Synopsis The Best Jokes Minnie Pearl Ever Told by : Kevin Kenworthy
Download or read book The Best Jokes Minnie Pearl Ever Told written by Kevin Kenworthy and published by Thomas Nelson. This book was released on 1999-02-10 with total page 161 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the stage of the Grand Ole Opry to concert halls around the world, and on television's Hee Haw and Prime Time Country, Cousin Minnie Pearl entertained fans and friends with her stories about Grinder's Switch and her jokes. Now you can recall the best of them, such as . . . This week we decided we'd better take Brother up to Nashville and try to get him a job. So I took him to one of the places and the man said he'd give Brother a job. He said, "I can start you at thity dollars a week and in five years you'll get two hundred!" Brother said, "That's fine. I'll be back in five years!" Mr. Smith, a seventy-five-year-old multimillionaire, just married a young, beautiful eighteen-year-old girl. A friend asked, "How did you get an eighteen-year-old to marry you when you're seventy-five?" The man said, "I told her I was ninety-five!" Also included are memories of Minnie by . . . Porter Wagoner Ralph Emery Bill Anderson Johnny Russell Little Jimmy Dickens Jimmy C. Newman
Download or read book LoL! written by Johnny Laughing and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-05-09 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: LOL! Funny Jokes for Kids Are you looking for a fun book to keep the kids entertained and happy? This funny joke book for kids is excellent for early readers. It also includes some fun games and puzzles too. Laughing and jokes have been proven to have positive mental and physical effects on the body! This books is especially great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. 101 funny jokes for kids Excellent for early readers Includes fun games and puzzles Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud Short jokes, cheesy jokes, animal jokes, and MORE! From this Funny Joke Book... Q: What do cars do at a party? A: Brake dance! HAHA! Q: Where do snowmen keep their money? A: In a snow bank! LOL! Q: Why did the weather want privacy? A: It was changing! HAHA! Q: What did the drink machine say when a quarter got stuck? A: Money is tight these days! LOL! Q: What did the stamp say to the letter? A: I've become attached to you! HAHA! Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: He was feeling crummy! Best-Selling Author ~ Johnny B. Laughing The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of awesome jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This awesome joke book for kids is easy to read and full of laughs! WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically! Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today!
Book Synopsis Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox by : Joel Chandler Harris
Download or read book Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox written by Joel Chandler Harris and published by Putnam Publishing Group. This book was released on 1969 with total page 64 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Thirteen tales told by the old Georgian slave about Brer Rabbit, his friends, and Brer Fox.
Download or read book Fish Jokes written by Johnny B. Laughing and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2016-06-14 with total page 30 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Funny Fish Jokes! The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and fish jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This joke book contains an entire school of funny fish jokes! WARNING: Something smells fishy! Q: What fish make the best sandwiches? A: A peanut and jellyfish! SPLISH SPLASH! FISH JOKES! Q: Where do fish sleep? A: In a river bed! SPLISH SPLASH! FISH JOKES! Q: Why are fish no good at tennis? A: They don't like to get close to the net! SPLISH SPLASH! FISH JOKES! Q: Why are fish so gullible? A: They fall for things: Hook, line, and sinker! SPLISH SPLASH! FISH JOKES! Q: What's the difference between a fish and a piano? A: You can't tuna fish! SPLISH SPLASH! FISH JOKES! Q: Why are fish so smart? A: They are always in schools! Funny and hilarious fish jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults! Your fish friends might not think these jokes are that funny, but you will be rolling on the floor laughing. This collection of fish and sea jokes is one of the funniest collections in the world! These jokes about fish will make everyone giggle and erupt with laughter. This joke book is excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Johnny B. Laughing is the online comedy king! Scroll up and click 'buy' to get your scales on a copy today. SPLISH SPLASH!
Book Synopsis Yo Mama Jokes Bible by : Johnny B. Laughing
Download or read book Yo Mama Jokes Bible written by Johnny B. Laughing and published by Createspace Independent Publishing Platform. This book was released on 2015-08-03 with total page 48 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Yo Mama Jokes Bible! 350+ Funny & Hilarious Yo Mama Jokes Yo mama is so fat... Yo mama is so skinny... Yo mama is so old... Yo mama is so tall... Yo mama is so short... Yo mama is so stupid... Yo mama is so poor... Yo mama is so ugly... Yo mama is so bald... Yo mama is so hairy... Yo mama is so lazy... Other Yo mama jokes... ALL NEW YO MAMA JOKES! Yo mama is so stupid... she thought Christmas wrap was Snoop Dogg's new song! Yo mama is so fat... she posted a picture on Instagram and it crashed! Yo mama is so tall... Shaq looks up to her! Yo mama is so ugly... she looks like she has been bobbing for apples in hot grease! Yo mama is so skinny... when she wears skinny jeans, they look like bell-bottoms! Yo mama is so old... she has an autographed Bible! Yo mama is so short ... you can see her feet on her driver's license! Yo mama is so hairy... that Bigfoot tried to take her picture! Yo mama is so fat... she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad! Yo mama is so stupid... she went to a dentist to fix her Bluetooth! Yo mama is so old... her memory is in black and white! Yo mama is so poor... she put a Happy Meal on layaway! Yo mama is so ugly... she's the reason blind dates were invented! Yo mama is so short... she can use a sock for a sleeping bag! Yo mama is so bald... you can see what's on her mind! Best-Selling Author ~ Johnny B. Laughing The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke book full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy and MASSIVE assortment of yo mama jokes! WARNING: This funny joke book will cause you to laugh hysterically! Scroll up and click 'buy' to start laughing today! tags: yo mama jokes, yo mama, your mama jokes, your momma jokes, yo momma jokes, yo momma joke book, funny jokes, jokes, joke book,joke gifts, jokes and pranks, jokes and gags, jokes book, jokes for kids, funny jokes for kids, funny jokes, funny jokes for adults, jokes and riddles, funniest jokes, best jokes, good jokes, best jokes ever
Book Synopsis For a Pun Time Call Smitty by : Timothy Smith
Download or read book For a Pun Time Call Smitty written by Timothy Smith and published by . This book was released on 2020-08 with total page 102 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Make yourself and your friends and family crack up with a book of puns from Smitty's everyday humorous thoughts and conversations. Enjoy a collection of Yo' (family) jokes, cunning catch phrases, and witty pickup lines to share at the next social event and brighten your day.
Download or read book What Happened Was written by Jethro and published by . This book was released on 2003-05-19 with total page pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Laugh 'til it hurts, as Jethro reveals all in his hilarious live show. Jethro reveals all in his hilarious live show. Laugh 'til it hurts as Cornwall's best-loved comic takes a look at life -- as only he can! Discover the meaning of twernt't and find out what happened when Jethro's pal, Denzil Penberthy, popped into the clock shop! Featuring Jethro at his belly laugh best -- performing live -- plus a collection of cracking sketches, this is one portion of West Country wit you won't want to miss.
