Our Tiny Useless Hearts

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Our Tiny, Useless Hearts

Author : Toni Jordan
Publisher : Text Publishing
ISBN 13 : 192225391X
Total Pages : 288 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (222 download)

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Book Synopsis Our Tiny, Useless Hearts by : Toni Jordan

Download or read book Our Tiny, Useless Hearts written by Toni Jordan and published by Text Publishing. This book was released on 2016-05-02 with total page 288 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Henry has ended his marriage to Caroline and headed off to Noosa with Mercedes’ grade three teacher, Martha. Caroline, having shredded a wardrobe-full of Henry’s suits, has gone after them. Craig and Lesley have dropped over briefly from next door to catch up on the fallout from Henry and Caroline’s all-night row. And Janice, Caroline’s sister, is staying for the weekend to look after the girls because Janice is the sensible one. A microbiologist with a job she loves, a fervent belief in the beauty of the scientific method and a determination to make a solo life after her divorce from Alec. Then Craig returns through the bedroom window expecting a tryst with Caroline and finds Janice in her bed, Lesley storms in with a jealous heart and a mouthful of threats, Henry, Caroline and Martha arrive back from the airport in separate taxis—and let’s not even get started on Brayden the pizza guy. Janice can cope with all that. But when Alec knocks on the door things suddenly get complicated. Harnessing the exquisite timing of the great comedies to the narrative power and emotional intelligence for which she is famous, Toni Jordan brings all her wit, wisdom and flair to this brilliant, hilarious novel. Toni Jordan is the author of four novels. The international bestseller Addition (2008), was a Richard and Judy Bookclub pick and was longlisted for the Miles Franklin award. Fall Girl (2010) was published internationally and has been optioned for film, and Nine Days was awarded Best Fiction at the 2012 Indie Awards, was shortlisted for the ABIA Best General Fiction award and was named in Kirkus Review’s top 10 Historical Novels of 2013. Her latest novel is Our Tiny, Useless Hearts (2016). ‘A new Toni Jordan is always a special pleasure and her latest is a wonderful, witty treat of a novel: cutting and clever, and yet so very romantic, as though P. G. Wodehouse had satirised life in the suburbs.’ Liane Moriarty ‘A classic farce in the style of Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest, complete with physical comedy, exaggerated situations and a spot of class commentary in the form of suburban satire, Our Tiny, Useless Hearts is loads of fun and clever too.’ Books+Publishing ‘Laugh-out-loud funny, yet with real emotion at its core, this is a sexy-smart rom-com about love and marriage...I loved it.’ Australian Women’s Weekly ‘Crisp and clever...conjuring a flawless but vividly rendered romantic hero and a love story that feels fresh and sexy.’ Saturday Paper ‘That Toni Jordan’s new novel manages to be a full-length fiction that simultaneously operates as a hugely enjoyable farce and an emotionally rich domestic drama is a testament to her skills as a writer and the charm of her voice.’ Australian ‘[A] clever and moving comedy about love and marriage. A hilarious and romantic treat.’ Who Weekly ‘Toni Jordan’s novel showcases not a bizarre triangle but a confused love heptagon. With wit and humour, this screwball bedroom farce bends the lines of communication and fidelity out of shape and reconfigures them.’ Best Books of 2016, Sydney Morning Herald ‘Toni Jordan is in that small group of novelists who can write smart, character- and situation-driven humour, which is to say laugh-out-loud comedy: take Our Tiny, Useless Hearts to the beach.’ Graeme Simsion, Best Books of 2016, Guardian ‘Marriage is complicated—and sometimes hilarious—in this novel...Jordan's dialogue is quick and witty, her writing is sharp, and the plot is fast-paced. However, the story's heart comes from the way it deals with the serious issues (like infidelity and infertility) that hide underneath the humor. A funny, pleasant look at love, forgiveness, and second chances.’ Kirkus Reviews

Nine Days

Author : Toni Jordan
Publisher : Text Publishing
ISBN 13 : 1921961120
Total Pages : 257 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (219 download)

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Book Synopsis Nine Days by : Toni Jordan

Download or read book Nine Days written by Toni Jordan and published by Text Publishing. This book was released on 2012-08-22 with total page 257 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It is 1939 and although Australia is about to go to war, it doesn’t quite realise yet that the situation is serious. Deep in the working-class Melbourne suburb of Richmond it is business—your own and everyone else’s—as usual. And young Kip Westaway, failed scholar and stablehand, is living the most important day of his life.

Fall Girl

Author : Toni Jordan
Publisher : Text Publishing
ISBN 13 : 1921656654
Total Pages : 241 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (216 download)

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Book Synopsis Fall Girl by : Toni Jordan

Download or read book Fall Girl written by Toni Jordan and published by Text Publishing. This book was released on 2010 with total page 241 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'The secret to having people give you money is to act as though you don't want it.' Meet Ella Canfield, highly qualified evolutionary biologist. Attractive, if a little serious-looking in those heavy glasses - but then she's about to put her career on the line. Dr Canfield is seeking funding for a highly unorthodox research project. She wants to prove that an extinct animal still roams in one of Australia's most popular national parks. Meet Daniel Metcalf, good-looking, expensively dishevelled millionaire. Quite witty but far too rich to be taken seriously. He heads the Metcalf Trust, which donates money to offbeat scientific research projects. He has a personal interest in animals that don't exist. Problem number one- There is no such person as Dr Ella Canfield. Problem number two- Della Gilmore, professional con artist, has never met anyone like Daniel Metcalf before. Someone is going to take a fall. A sparkling, sexy read from the author of Addition, Fall Girl is a story about passion and loyalty, deceit and integrity, and the importance of believing in things that don't exist.

Addition

Author : Toni Jordan
Publisher : ReadHowYouWant.com
ISBN 13 : 1459620097
Total Pages : 290 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (596 download)

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Book Synopsis Addition by : Toni Jordan

Download or read book Addition written by Toni Jordan and published by ReadHowYouWant.com. This book was released on 2011-05-11 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Grace Lisa Vandenburg, the narrator of this pleasant neurotic-girl-meets-boy debut, is 35 years old and has been addicted to counting since she was eight. She lives alone in Melbourne, Australia, and is on sick leave from her teaching job, filling her weeks with counting-'steps and syllables and bites and things'-and sticking to her rigid routines, which include trips to the cafe and phone calls from her mother and self-absorbed younger sister. The only person in her life Grace relates to is her 10-year-old niece, Hilary, who is as quirky and charming as Grace is. Things are fine until Grace meets Seamus Joseph O'reilly, an Irish transplant who works at the local movie theater. Grace has not been on a date in two years and six months and hasn't been in love in forever, but as things progress with Seamus, she realizes what she has been missing. With some gentle encouragement, Grace agrees to test her boundaries and tries to find a happy medium between her obsession and living a full life. The novel does everything a sweet, agreeable romantic comedy should. (Feb.)

The Fragments

Author : Toni Jordan
Publisher : Text Publishing
ISBN 13 : 192577404X
Total Pages : 336 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (257 download)

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Book Synopsis The Fragments by : Toni Jordan

Download or read book The Fragments written by Toni Jordan and published by Text Publishing. This book was released on 2018-10-29 with total page 336 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the award-winning, bestselling author of Addition and Nine Days, a superbly crafted and captivating literary mystery about a lost book and a secret love.

Set My Heart to Five

Author : Simon Stephenson
Publisher : Harlequin
ISBN 13 : 1488076677
Total Pages : 466 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (88 download)

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Book Synopsis Set My Heart to Five by : Simon Stephenson

Download or read book Set My Heart to Five written by Simon Stephenson and published by Harlequin. This book was released on 2020-09-01 with total page 466 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Soon to be a major motion picture directed by Edgar Wright (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World): “Science fiction satire in the Vonnegut mold.” —Cory Doctorow Set in a 2054 where humans have locked themselves out of the internet and Elon Musk has incinerated the moon, Set My Heart to Five is the hilarious yet profoundly moving story of one android’s emotional awakening. One day at a screening of a classic movie, Jared notices a strange sensation around his eyes. Bots are not permitted to have feelings, but as the theater lights come on, Jared discovers he is crying. Soon overwhelmed by powerful emotions, Jared heads west, determined to find others like himself. But a bot with feelings is a dangerous proposition, and Jared’s new life could come to an end before it truly begins. Unless, that is, he can somehow change the world for himself and all of his kind. Unlike anything you have ever read before, Set My Heart to Five is a love letter to outsiders everywhere. Plus it comes uniquely guaranteed to make its readers weep a minimum of 29mls of tears.* *Book must be read in controlled laboratory conditions arranged at reader’s own expense. Other terms and conditions may apply to this offer. “A beautiful, funny, heartfelt analysis of what it means to be human.” —Simon Pegg “One of the most unique books ever crafted.” —Mike Chen, New York Times–bestselling author “A funny, original, thought-provoking debut . . . It’s wistful and sharp, particularly on what it really means to live.” —Daily Mail

Dinner with the Schnabels

Author : Toni Jordan
Publisher : Hachette Australia
ISBN 13 : 0733645135
Total Pages : 331 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (336 download)

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Book Synopsis Dinner with the Schnabels by : Toni Jordan

Download or read book Dinner with the Schnabels written by Toni Jordan and published by Hachette Australia. This book was released on 2022-03-30 with total page 331 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'I loved every page of this funny, warm, delightful novel!' LIANE MORIARTY 'A smart, funny novel about love, marriage and family.' Weekend Australian 'With sharply observed characters and comic set-pieces to make you laugh out loud, Dinner with the Schnabels is great fun to read and casts a more mature and acerbic eye on modern masculinity.' Sydney Morning Herald, Fiction Pick of the Week You can marry into them, but can you ever really be one of them? A novel about marriage, love and family. Things haven't gone well for Simon Larsen lately. He adores his wife, Tansy, and his children, but since his business failed and he lost the family home, he can't seem to get off the couch. His larger-than-life in-laws, the Schnabels - Tansy's mother, sister and brother - won't get off his case. To keep everyone happy, Simon needs to do one little job: he has a week to landscape a friend's backyard for an important Schnabel family event. But as the week progresses, Simon is derailed by the arrival of an unexpected house guest. Then he discovers Tansy is harbouring a secret. As his world spins out of control, who can Simon really count on when the chips are down? Life with the Schnabels is messy, chaotic and joyful, and Dinner with the Schnabels is as heartwarming as it is outrageously funny. Praise for Dinner with the Schnabels: 'Laughs all the way . . . a charmer of a book.' Daily Telegraph 'Dinner with the Schnabels is a contemporary comic masterpiece. Practically every page boasts lines redolent of humour, wit and sarcasm that will make you snigger if not laugh out loud.' ArtsHub 'Hilarious.' The Bookshelf (ABC Radio) 'Terrific . . . Dinner with the Schnabels is warm and quintessentially Australian yet extensively engaging.' Sydney Arts Guide 'Told with great humour and pathos. It is a tonic and a delight.' PIP WILLIAMS, author of The Dictionary of Lost Words 'Just delightful . . . a modern comedy of manners that pokes affectionate fun at contemporary Australia - all with Toni's trademark warmth, sensitivity and tenderness. I am pressing it into the hands of everyone I know.' KATE FORSYTH 'Toni Jordan at her finest - brilliantly observed and highly entertaining. I inhaled her words then snorted them out laughing!' JOANNA NELL 'Smart, tender, wise and hilarious. This is a dinner I didn't want to leave.' KATHRYN HEYMAN 'A modern Melbourne Oscar Wilde comedy of family conundrums, perfect for David Nicholls and Beth O'Leary fans!' DANIELLE BINKS 'As heartwarming as it is outrageously funny.' Herald Sun 'A sparkling, clever novel . . . Toni Jordan is at her best here, rivalling Liane Moriarty (a fan) with her comic skewering of social mores, pacy plot, sharp characterisations and sly questioning of contemporary values' In Daily 'The only criticism I could possibly level at this novel is that it was near-impossible to put down . . . Dinner with the Schnabels is a 5-star read for sure. Run, don't walk.' The AU Review 'This delicious story about family will be Jordan's most-loved novel yet . . . Dinner with the Schnabels just makes my life feel easier - it makes me feel seen.' Readings 'Once again proving why Jordan is one of this country's most exceptional writers.' Better Reading

The Little Book of Heartbreak

Author : Meghan Laslocky
Publisher : Penguin
ISBN 13 : 110160283X
Total Pages : 276 pages
Book Rating : 4.1/5 (16 download)

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Book Synopsis The Little Book of Heartbreak by : Meghan Laslocky

Download or read book The Little Book of Heartbreak written by Meghan Laslocky and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2012-12-31 with total page 276 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The perfect anti-valentine: a whirlwind tour through love’s most crushing moments What’s the best way to mend a broken heart? Forget ice cream, wine, and sappy movies. Journalist Meghan Laslocky advises: Read through the pain. From forbidden love in 12th century Paris to the art of crafting the perfect “I’m over you” mix, The Little Book of Heartbreak is a quirky exploration of all things lovelorn, including: • How serial cheater Ernest Hemingway stole his wife’s job just as their marriage was collapsing • Kinky spells cast by lovesick men in ancient Greece • Painter Oscar Kokoschka’s attempt to get over an ex by creating (and having liaisons with!) her life-size replica • Brooding crooner Morrissey’s personal creed about how romantic love is useless • The surprising science behind heartbreak and love addiction • The connection between World War II and what you talk about with your therapist • Insights into the tricky chemistry of monogamy and infidelity, courtesy of tiny rodents • And other lessons learned from ill-fated romances, lovers’ quarrels, and hell-hath-no-fury spats throughout the ages Featuring anecdotes from history, literature, culture, art and music, The Little Book of Heartbreak shares the entertaining, empowering and occasionally absurd things that happen when love is on its last legs.

Fall Girl

Author : Toni Jordan
Publisher : Text Publishing
ISBN 13 : 192175883X
Total Pages : 241 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (217 download)

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Book Synopsis Fall Girl by : Toni Jordan

Download or read book Fall Girl written by Toni Jordan and published by Text Publishing. This book was released on 2011-10-31 with total page 241 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'The secret to having people give you money is to act as though you don't want it.' Meet Ella Canfield, highly qualified evolutionary biologist. Attractive, if a little serious-looking in those heavy glasses—but then she's about to put her career on the line. Dr Canfield is seeking funding for a highly unorthodox research project. She wants to prove that an extinct animal still roams in one of Australia's most popular national parks. Meet Daniel Metcalf, good-looking, expensively dishevelled millionaire. Quite witty but far too rich to be taken seriously. He heads the Metcalf Trust, which donates money to offbeat scientific research projects. He has a personal interest in animals that don't exist. Problem number one: There is no such person as Dr Ella Canfield. Problem number two: Della Gilmore, professional con artist, has never met anyone like Daniel Metcalf before. Someone is going to take a fall. A sparkling, sexy read from the author of Addition, Fall Girl is a story about passion and loyalty, deceit and integrity, and the importance of believing in things that don't exist.

The Stud Book

Author : Monica Drake
Publisher : Hogarth Press
ISBN 13 : 0307955524
Total Pages : 338 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (79 download)

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Book Synopsis The Stud Book by : Monica Drake

Download or read book The Stud Book written by Monica Drake and published by Hogarth Press. This book was released on 2013 with total page 338 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Well-versed in the mating habits of captive animals, Sarah, who studies animal behavior at the zoo, longs to have a baby, while her loyal friends, each dealing with their own parenting issues, discover that the families they forge through shared experience are as important as those inherited through birth.

The Sense of an Ending

Author : Julian Barnes
Publisher : Vintage
ISBN 13 : 0307957330
Total Pages : 158 pages
Book Rating : 4.3/5 (79 download)

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Book Synopsis The Sense of an Ending by : Julian Barnes

Download or read book The Sense of an Ending written by Julian Barnes and published by Vintage. This book was released on 2011-10-05 with total page 158 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: BOOKER PRIZE WINNER • NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A novel that follows a middle-aged man as he contends with a past he never much thought about—until his closest childhood friends return with a vengeance: one of them from the grave, another maddeningly present. A novel so compelling that it begs to be read in a single setting, The Sense of an Ending has the psychological and emotional depth and sophistication of Henry James at his best, and is a stunning achievement in Julian Barnes's oeuvre. Tony Webster thought he left his past behind as he built a life for himself, and his career has provided him with a secure retirement and an amicable relationship with his ex-wife and daughter, who now has a family of her own. But when he is presented with a mysterious legacy, he is forced to revise his estimation of his own nature and place in the world.

Coffee for Your Heart

Author : Holley Gerth
Publisher : Harvest House Publishers
ISBN 13 : 0736970940
Total Pages : 178 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (369 download)

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Book Synopsis Coffee for Your Heart by : Holley Gerth

Download or read book Coffee for Your Heart written by Holley Gerth and published by Harvest House Publishers. This book was released on 2017-07-01 with total page 178 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Start Your Day in the Very Best Way Discover more joy, peace, and purpose every morning as you listen to the voice of the One who delights in you! In Coffee for Your Heart, bestselling author Holley Gerth shares 40 encouraging and powerful reminders of how God sees you as His beloved daughter. You are... wonderfully made chosen irreplaceable strong never alone ...and so much more! This noisy world can make it hard to hear the assurances of God. Let His voice be the loudest one in your life as He stirs up your hope and confidence each new day. "Take a deep breath, grab a cup of something cozy, and let God's love fill your heart with whatever you need most today." —Holley Previously published as God's Heart for You.

Ten Tiny Breaths

Author : K.A. Tucker
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 147674033X
Total Pages : 256 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (767 download)

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Book Synopsis Ten Tiny Breaths by : K.A. Tucker

Download or read book Ten Tiny Breaths written by K.A. Tucker and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2013-02-12 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: After a terrible car accident destroys her life as she knew it, twenty-year-old Kacey escapes to Florida, where she encounters an irresistible man determined to capture her wounded heart. Just breathe, Kacey. Ten tiny breaths. Seize them. Feel them. Love them. Four years ago, Kacey Cleary’s life imploded when her car was hit by a drunk driver, killing her parents, boyfriend, and best friend. Still haunted by memories of being trapped inside, listening to her mother take her last breath, Kacey wants to leave her past behind. Armed with two bus tickets, Kacey and her fifteen-year-old sister, Livie, escape Grand Rapids, Michigan, to start over in Miami. They’re struggling to make ends meet at first, but Kacey’s not worried. She can handle anything—anything but her mysterious neighbor in apartment 1D. Trent Emerson has smoldering blue eyes and deep dimples, and perfectly skates that irresistible line between nice guy and bad boy. Hardened by her tragic past, Kacey is determined to keep everyone at a distance, but their mutual attraction is undeniable, and Trent is desperate to find a way into Kacey’s guarded heart—even if it means revealing an explosive secret that could shatter both their worlds.

Heart Songs and Other Stories

Author : Annie Proulx
Publisher : Simon and Schuster
ISBN 13 : 1416588906
Total Pages : 214 pages
Book Rating : 4.4/5 (165 download)

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Book Synopsis Heart Songs and Other Stories by : Annie Proulx

Download or read book Heart Songs and Other Stories written by Annie Proulx and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2007-12-01 with total page 214 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Before she wrote the bestselling Brokeback Mountain, Annie Proulx was already producing some of the finest short fiction in the country. Here are her collected stories, including two new works never before anthologized. These stories reverberate with rural tradition, the rites of nature, and the rituals of small town life. The country is blue collar New England; the characters are native families and the dispossessed working class, whose heritage is challenged by the neorural bourgeoisie from the city; and the themes are as elemental as the landscape: revenge, malice, greed, passion. Told with skill and profundity and crafted by a master storyteller, these are lean, tough tales of an extraordinary place and its people.

Near to the Wild Heart

Author : Clarice Lispector
Publisher : New Directions Publishing
ISBN 13 : 0811220710
Total Pages : 209 pages
Book Rating : 4.8/5 (112 download)

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Book Synopsis Near to the Wild Heart by : Clarice Lispector

Download or read book Near to the Wild Heart written by Clarice Lispector and published by New Directions Publishing. This book was released on 2012-06-13 with total page 209 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This new translation of Clarice Lispector's sensational first book tells the story of a middle class woman's life from childhood through an unhappy marriage and its dissolution to transcendence. Near to the Wild Heart, published in Rio de Janeiro in 1943, introduced Brazil to what one writer called “Hurricane Clarice”: a twenty-three-year-old girl who wrote her first book in a tiny rented room and then baptized it with a title taken from Joyce: “He was alone, unheeded, near to the wild heart of life.” The book was an unprecedented sensation — the discovery of a genius. Narrative epiphanies and interior monologue frame the life of Joana, from her middle-class childhood through her unhappy marriage and its dissolution to transcendence, when she proclaims: “I shall arise as strong and comely as a young colt.”

Always In Our Hearts

Author : Doug Most
Publisher : Macmillan
ISBN 13 : 9780312973094
Total Pages : 316 pages
Book Rating : 4.9/5 (73 download)

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Book Synopsis Always In Our Hearts by : Doug Most

Download or read book Always In Our Hearts written by Doug Most and published by Macmillan. This book was released on 2000-04-15 with total page 316 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Chronicles the 1996 neonaticide committed by upperclass New Jersey teenagers Amy Grossberg and Brian Peterson.

The Mighty Odds (The Odds Series #1)

Author : Amy Ignatow
Publisher : Abrams
ISBN 13 : 1613128983
Total Pages : 248 pages
Book Rating : 4.6/5 (131 download)

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Book Synopsis The Mighty Odds (The Odds Series #1) by : Amy Ignatow

Download or read book The Mighty Odds (The Odds Series #1) written by Amy Ignatow and published by Abrams. This book was released on 2016-09-13 with total page 248 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the renowned author/illustrator of the Popularity Papers series, Amy Ignatow, comes the first installment in a new series about a diverse crew of middle school kids who develop very limited superhero powers after a strange accident and manage to become unlikely friends on the adventure of a lifetime. When a sweet nerd, an artsy cartoonist, a social outcast, and the most popular girl in school are involved in a mysterious bus accident, this seemingly random group of kids starts to notice some very strange abilities they did not have before. Artsy Martina can change her eye color. Nerdy Nick can teleport . . . four inches to the left. Outcast Farshad develops super strength, but only in his thumbs. And Cookie, the It Girl of school’s most popular clique, has suddenly developed the ability to read minds . . . when those minds are thinking about directions. They are oddly mighty—especially together. This group—who would never hang out under normal circumstances—must now combine all of their strengths to figure out what happened during the bus accident. With alternating narratives from each of the heroes, including illustrated pieces from Martina, and featuring bold female superheroes and a multicultural cast, The Mighty Odds is The Breakfast Club for a new generation. For more books by Amy Ignatow, check out her critically acclaimed Popularity Papers series: Book One: Research for the Social Improvement and General Betterment of Lydia Goldblatt and Julie Graham Chang; Book Two: The Long-Distance Dispatch; Book Three: Words of (Questionable) Wisdom; Book Four: The Rocky Road Trip; Book Five: The Awesomely Awful Melodies; Book Six: Love and Other Fiascos; and Book Seven: The Less-Than-Hidden Secrets and Final Revelations.