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Moms Who Drink And Swear
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Book Synopsis Moms Who Drink and Swear by : Nicole Knepper
Download or read book Moms Who Drink and Swear written by Nicole Knepper and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2013-04-02 with total page 337 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. This irreverant, hilarious guide to the trials of motherhood makes the perfect gift for mom—or any woman with a huge heart and a mouth that sometimes needs washing out with soap. Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts. Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.
Download or read book Mommy Cusses written by Dorman Serena and published by Chronicle Books. This book was released on 2021-06-25 with total page 114 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For fans of Go the F*ck to Sleep, Mommy Cusses is a hilarious novelty parenting book full of tell-it-like-it-is quotes, snarky lists, and too-true anecdotes that will resonate with new moms everywhere. For new-ish mothers who need to laugh at the absurdity of parenting so they don't cry, who are looking for a we're-in-this-together sense of solidarity, and who don't have time to read a "real" book, here is a hilarious and highly relatable collection of mom malarkey. There are real-talk quotes, helpful lists (such as "How to Look Like You Have Your Act Together"), "mom-tivities," and quizzes, all delivered with a healthy dose of sarcasm. Packaged in a handy trim size with colorful illustrations throughout, Mommy Cusses is the perfect gift for moms and moms-to-be who need some comic relief. • GREAT GIFT: Mommy Cusses is super relatable and laugh-out-loud funny, making it an easy gift for Mother's Day or a baby shower, or an anytime gift for a parent. • PERENNIAL TOPIC: It doesn't take long to experience all the ups and downs of parenting. Mommy Cusses features timeless mommy humor that won't go out of style and a fresh look and feel that speaks to young parents. Perfect for: • Expectant parents and parents of children under 5 • Shoppers looking for a baby shower or Mother's Day gift for a friend, spouse, or daughter • Followers of the Mommy Cusses blog or Instagram account
Book Synopsis Mommy Drinks Because You Cry by : Hannah Caner
Download or read book Mommy Drinks Because You Cry written by Hannah Caner and published by Castle Point Books. This book was released on 2016-04-26 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Pull Mommy back from the edge with this irreverent adult coloring book! MOMMY DRINKS BECAUSE YOU CRY is the adult coloring book for the delightfully impolite. For the rare moments you have to yourself, enjoy the calming act of coloring with a little dose of sass. This collection of beautiful designs and fun illustrations are paired with the very best of all our worst thoughts, from “I child-proofed my house, but they still get in,” to “Home is where the vodka is.” Each hilariously captioned design is printed on sturdy, tear-out pages perfect for amusing decoration or passive-aggressive gift-giving. When you want to unwind with coloring but aren’t in the mood to embrace sunshine and daisies, MOMMY DRINKS BECAUSE YOU CRY is the perfect adult coloring book to let you speak your native sarcasm!
Book Synopsis Becoming the Drunk Mom by : AMY. WRIGHT
Download or read book Becoming the Drunk Mom written by AMY. WRIGHT and published by . This book was released on 2016-12-10 with total page 80 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Moms aren't supposed to swear like truckers or talk about how hard day to day life as a parent is... Or that maybe sometimes (only every once in awhile?) their kids are, in fact, assholes. But The Drunk Mom does. Read Amy's story of teen pregnancy, abuse, depression and learning to live a perfectly imperfect life that she's built a following around. A story of imperfection, chasing dreams and giving zero f*cks.
Book Synopsis I Heart My Little A-Holes by : Karen Alpert
Download or read book I Heart My Little A-Holes written by Karen Alpert and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2014-04-08 with total page 249 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog. Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole. When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
Book Synopsis The Single Undead Moms Club by : Molly Harper
Download or read book The Single Undead Moms Club written by Molly Harper and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2015-10-27 with total page 271 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In the next book in the Half Moon Hollow paranormal romance series, Libby (a widow-turned-vampire) struggles with her transition, and finds out it sucks to be the only vampire member of the PTA… Widow Libby Stratton arranged to be turned into a vampire after she was diagnosed with late-stage cancer. It wasn’t the best idea she’s ever had, but she was desperate—she’s not about to leave her seven-year-old son to be raised by her rigid, overbearing in-laws. On top of transition issues, like being ignored at PTA meetings and other mothers rejecting her son’s invitations for sleepovers, Libby must deal with her father-in-law’s attempts to declare her an unfit mother, her growing feelings for Wade—a tattooed redneck single dad she met while hiding in a closet at Back to School Night—and the return of her sire, who hasn’t stopped thinking about brave, snarky Libby since he turned her. With the help of her new vampire circle, Libby negotiates this unfamiliar quagmire of legal troubles, parental duties, relationships, and, as always in Molly Harper’s distinct, comedic novels, “characters you can’t help but fall in love with” (RT Book Reviews).
Book Synopsis Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old by : Suzy Giordano
Download or read book Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old written by Suzy Giordano and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2006-01-19 with total page 177 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: There is no bigger issue for healthy infants than sleeping through the night. In this simple, straightforward book, Suzy Giordano presents her amazingly effective “Limited-Crying Solution” that will get any baby to sleep for twelve hours at night—and three hours in the day—by the age of twelve weeks old. Giordano is the mother of five children and one of the most sought-after baby sleep specialists in the country. The Washington Post calls her a baby sleep "guru" and "an underground legend in the Washington area for her ability to teach newborns how to achieve that parenting nirvana: sleeping through the night." Her sleep plan has been tested with singletons, twins, triplets, babies with special needs, and colicky babies—and it has never failed. Whether you are pregnant, first-time parents, or parents who seek a different path with your second or third child, anyone can benefit from the Baby Coach’s popular system of regular feeding times, twelve hours of sleep at night and three hours of sleep during the day, and the peace of mind that comes with taking the parent and child out of a sleep- deprived world.
Download or read book We Were Liars written by E. Lockhart and published by Delacorte Press. This book was released on 2014-05-13 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A modern, sophisticated suspense novel from National Book Award finalist, and Printz Award honoree E. Lockhart. Don't miss the #1 New York Times bestselling prequel, Family of Liars. A beautiful and distinguished family. A private island. A brilliant, damaged girl; a passionate, political boy. A group of four friends—the Liars—whose friendship turns destructive. A revolution. An accident. A secret. Lies upon lies. True love. The truth. Read it. And if anyone asks you how it ends, just LIE. "Thrilling, beautiful, and blisteringly smart, We Were Liars is utterly unforgettable." —John Green, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars
Download or read book The 5AM Club written by Robin Sharma and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2018-12-04 with total page 356 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Legendary leadership and elite performance expert Robin Sharma introduced The 5am Club concept over twenty years ago, based on a revolutionary morning routine that has helped his clients maximize their productivity, activate their best health and bulletproof their serenity in this age of overwhelming complexity. Now, in this life-changing book, handcrafted by the author over a rigorous four-year period, you will discover the early-rising habit that has helped so many accomplish epic results while upgrading their happiness, helpfulness and feelings of aliveness. Through an enchanting—and often amusing—story about two struggling strangers who meet an eccentric tycoon who becomes their secret mentor, The 5am Club will walk you through: How great geniuses, business titans and the world’s wisest people start their mornings to produce astonishing achievements A little-known formula you can use instantly to wake up early feeling inspired, focused and flooded with a fiery drive to get the most out of each day A step-by-step method to protect the quietest hours of daybreak so you have time for exercise, self-renewal and personal growth A neuroscience-based practice proven to help make it easy to rise while most people are sleeping, giving you precious time for yourself to think, express your creativity and begin the day peacefully instead of being rushed “Insider-only” tactics to defend your gifts, talents and dreams against digital distraction and trivial diversions so you enjoy fortune, influence and a magnificent impact on the world Part manifesto for mastery, part playbook for genius-grade productivity and part companion for a life lived beautifully, The 5am Club is a work that will transform your life. Forever.
Book Synopsis Watch Me Disappear by : Janelle Brown
Download or read book Watch Me Disappear written by Janelle Brown and published by Random House. This book was released on 2017-07-11 with total page 384 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The disappearance of a beautiful, charismatic mother leaves her family to piece together her secrets in this propulsive novel for fans of Big Little Lies—from the bestselling author of All We Ever Wanted Was Everything and the upcoming Pretty Things. “Watch Me Disappear is just as riveting as Gone Girl.”—San Francisco Chronicle Who you want people to be makes you blind to who they really are. It’s been a year since Billie Flanagan—a Berkeley mom with an enviable life—went on a solo hike in Desolation Wilderness and vanished from the trail. Her body was never found, just a shattered cellphone and a solitary hiking boot. Her husband and teenage daughter have been coping with Billie’s death the best they can: Jonathan drinks as he works on a loving memoir about his marriage; Olive grows remote, from both her father and her friends at the all-girls school she attends. But then Olive starts having strange visions of her mother, still alive. Jonathan worries about Olive’s emotional stability, until he starts unearthing secrets from Billie’s past that bring into question everything he thought he understood about his wife. Who was the woman he knew as Billie Flanagan? Together, Olive and Jonathan embark on a quest for the truth—about Billie, but also about themselves, learning, in the process, about all the ways that love can distort what we choose to see. Janelle Brown’s insights into the dynamics of intimate relationships will make you question the stories you tell yourself about the people you love, while her nervy storytelling will keep you guessing until the very last page. Praise for Watch Me Disappear “Watch Me Disappear is a surprising and compelling read. Like the best novels, it takes the reader somewhere she wouldn’t otherwise allow herself to go. . . . It’s strongest in the places that matter most: in the believability of its characters and the irresistibility of its plot.”—Chicago Tribune “Janelle Brown’s third family drama delivers an incisive and emotional view of how grief and recovery from loss can seep into each aspect of a person’s life. . . . Brown imbues realism in each character, whose complicated emotions fuel the suspenseful story.”—Associated Press “When a Berkeley mother vanishes and is declared dead, her daughter is convinced she’s alive in Janelle Brown’s thriller, calling to mind Big Little Lies and Gone Girl.”—Variety
Download or read book Why Mommy Drinks written by Gill Sims and published by HarperCollins. This book was released on 2017-11-21 with total page 283 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Why Mommy Drinks is the brilliant novel from Gill Sims, the author of the online sensation Peter and Jane.
Download or read book Bad Mother written by Ayelet Waldman and published by Anchor. This book was released on 2009-05-05 with total page 224 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: In our mothers’ day there were good mothers, indifferent mothers, and occasionally, great mothers. Today we have only Bad Mothers: If you work, you’re neglectful; if you stay home, you’re smothering. If you discipline, you’re buying them a spot on the shrink’s couch; if you let them run wild, they will be into drugs by seventh grade. Is it any wonder so many women refer to themselves at one time or another as a “bad mother”? Writing with remarkable candor, and dispensing much hilarious and helpful advice along the way—Is breast best? What should you do when your daughter dresses up as a “ho” for Halloween?—Ayelet Waldman says it's time for women to get over it and get on with it in this wry, unflinchingly honest, and always insightful memoir on modern motherhood.
Book Synopsis People I Want to Punch in the Throat by : Jen Mann
Download or read book People I Want to Punch in the Throat written by Jen Mann and published by Ballantine Books. This book was released on 2014-09-09 with total page 226 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear
Book Synopsis Happy & You Know It by : Laura Hankin
Download or read book Happy & You Know It written by Laura Hankin and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2021-03-09 with total page 418 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “For fans of Sex and the City and The Nanny Diaries comes this juicy story…that would make even the most meticulously Drybar-ed hair curl.”—Good Housekeeping As seen in The Washington Post • Good Housekeeping • theSkimm • Good Morning America • ABC News • Book of the Month • Belletrist • OK! Magazine • Betches • Newsweek • Parade • New York Post Best Book of the Week A dark, witty page-turner about a struggling young musician who takes a job singing for a playgroup of overprivileged babies and their effortlessly cool moms, only to find herself pulled into their glamorous lives and dangerous secrets.... After her former band shot to superstardom without her, Claire reluctantly agrees to a gig as a playgroup musician for wealthy infants on New York's Park Avenue. Claire is surprised to discover that she is smitten with her new employers, a welcoming clique of wellness addicts with impossibly shiny hair, who whirl from juice cleanse to overpriced miracle vitamins to spin class with limitless energy. There is perfect hostess Whitney who is on the brink of social-media stardom and just needs to find a way to keep her flawless life from falling apart. Caustically funny, recent stay-at-home mom Amara who is struggling to embrace her new identity. And old money, veteran mom Gwen who never misses an opportunity to dole out parenting advice. But as Claire grows closer to the stylish women who pay her bills, she uncovers secrets and betrayals that no amount of activated charcoal can fix. Filled with humor and shocking twists, Happy and You Know It is a brilliant take on motherhood – exposing it as yet another way for society to pass judgment on women – while also exploring the baffling magnetism of curated social-media lives that are designed to make us feel unworthy. But, ultimately, this dazzling novel celebrates the unlikely bonds that form, and the power that can be unlocked, when a group of very different women is thrown together when each is at her most vulnerable.
Book Synopsis From Cradle to Stage by : Virginia Hanlon Grohl
Download or read book From Cradle to Stage written by Virginia Hanlon Grohl and published by Seal Press. This book was released on 2017-04-18 with total page 316 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Written by Virginia Grohl, the mother of Dave Grohl—former Nirvana drummer and current frontman for the Foo Fighters—From Cradle to Stage shares stories and exclusive photos featuring mothers of rock icons, the icons themselves, and their Behind the Music-style relationships While the Grohl family had always been musical-the family sang together on long car trips, harmonizing to Motown and David Bowie-Virginia never expected her son to become a musician, let alone a rock star. But when she saw him perform in front of thousands of screaming fans for the first time, she knew that rock stardom was meant to be for her son. And as Virginia watched her son's star rise, she often wondered about the other mothers who raised sons and daughters who became rock stars. Were they as surprised as she was about their children's fame? Did they worry about their children's livelihood and wellbeing in an industry fraught with drugs and other dangers? Did they encourage their children's passions despite the odds against success, or attempt to dissuade them from their grandiose dreams? Do they remind their kids to pack a warm coat when they go on tour? Virginia decided to seek out other rock star mothers to ask these questions, and so began a two-year odyssey in which she interviewed such women as Verna Griffin, Dr. Dre's mother; Marianne Stipe, Michael Stipe of REM's mother; Janis Winehouse, Amy Winehouse's mother; Patsy Noah, Adam Levine's mother; Donna Haim, mother of the Haim sisters; Hester Diamond, Mike D of The Beastie Boys' mother. With exclusive family photographs and a foreword by Dave Grohl, From Cradle to Stage will appeal to mothers and rock fans everywhere.
Book Synopsis This Mama Needs A Mother Fucking Drink by : Mama Swear Mama Swear Adult Coloring Books For Moms
Download or read book This Mama Needs A Mother Fucking Drink written by Mama Swear Mama Swear Adult Coloring Books For Moms and published by . This book was released on 2019-11-12 with total page 100 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Need a funny gift that is actually fun and relaxing? Discover the hottest trend with this best-selling title. This irreverent and sweary coloring book features laugh-out-loud funny and original designs that are perfect for taking the stress out of work and all the other stuff life can throw at a person. Provides HOURS of coloring FUN, at home, in the car, or when trying not to swear out loud(!). Makes the perfect gift for holidays and birthdays. FEATURES: 45+ High Quality Original Coloring Pages 100 Pages, High Quality Paper Great for pens, markers, watercolor, colored pencils, etc. Large Page size 8.5x11 Inches for easy use. A seriously hilarious gift for yourself or anyone who needs to let off steam. Get on board the latest trend and start coloring today!
Book Synopsis The Bad Mothers' Book Club by : Keris Stainton
Download or read book The Bad Mothers' Book Club written by Keris Stainton and published by Hachette UK. This book was released on 2019-04-18 with total page 272 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: 'I needed a funny easy book because of the days we're living in and The Bad Mothers' Book Club was perfect.' Maria, 5 stars The laugh-out-loud new comedy about family relationships from the ebook bestseller! Meet Emma, the new Mum on the block. Since moving to the Liverpudlian seaside after her husband's career change, her life consists of the following: long walks on the beach (with the dog), early nights (with the kids) and Netflix (no chill). Bored and lonely, when Emma is cordially invited to the exclusive cool school-mums' book club, she thinks her luck may finally be about to change. But she soon finds the women of the club aren't quite what they seem - and after an unfortunate incident involving red wine and a white carpet, she finds herself unceremoniously kicked out. The answer? Start her own book club - for bad mothers who just want to drink wine and share stories. But will this town let two book clubs exist? Or is there only room for one queen of the school gates...? Perfect for fans of Why Mummy Drinks.
