Marseille Travel Notebook

Author : Scott Bridges
Publisher :
ISBN 13 :
Total Pages : 100 pages
Book Rating : 4.7/5 (189 download)

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Download or read book Marseille Travel Notebook written by Scott Bridges and published by . This book was released on 2021-03-08 with total page 100 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Picture the scene: You present your partner with breakfast in bed one morning. 'What's this for?' they say, trying to sit up and not spill the coffee from the tray you have placed on the bed. 'I hate breakfast in bed. Crumbs get everywhere, and it is so uncomfortable.' Slightly deflated, you tell your partner you have booked a surprise week away, and they have to guess where to by the items you have prepared. 'Tamworth?' they reply, picking up one of the crepes from the plate. 'Tamworth? Why on earth would I be taking you on holiday to Tamworth?' 'I don't know,' they reply, sounding quite angry, and you remember why you should never try to engage with your partner first thing in the morning. 'I always think of Tamworth when I see pancakes. I don't know why.' You push the coffee cup towards your partner, trying not to get angry yourself. 'Pancakes! These are not pancakes! These, my dear, are crepes!' 'I have eaten crepes before and these are definitely not crepes. What they are, my dear, is cra...' 'France!' you blurt out, wishing you had told them over lunch instead. 'We are going to France!' This gets their attention. In fact, you even think you can see a little glint of a tear in their eye. They have always wanted to go to France. The situation is saved! 'Paris! PARIS!' they scream, throwing their arms around you, spilling the crepe/pancakes all over the bed in the process. You don't care, you are just happy to see them so excited. There is just one problem... 'Actually, I thought we would skip Paris. So touristy. We are going to Marseille instead.' Your partner instantly springs away from you, inadvertently putting their hands in the crepe/pancake/blueberry confiture as they do so. They don't seem to notice. 'Mar-what?' they say, eyes narrowing. 'Marseille,' you reply slowly. Surely they have heard of Marseille? 'Surely you have heard of Marseille?' you say, wanting confirmation. 'Of course I have heard of Marseille. I just never thought I would ever actually go to Marseille. Why are we going to Marseille?' The flights were forty pounds cheaper, you want to say, but instead you come out with this: 'Pasties were invented in Marseille.' 'Pasties?' 'Yes, pasties. It's like Pernod. You like Pernod,' you say, really struggling now. 'Pastis, you mean? And I don't like Pernod. I did like it one time seventeen years ago, when I had one drink of it. How do you remember these things?' 'You are the one who thinks of Tamworth when you see pancakes. I think that is a bit strange, to be honest.' 'A-ha, so they are pancakes!' Your partner sits back triumphantly in bed, a look of satisfaction on their face, and slowly licks blackberry confiture from their victorious fingers. You can avoid this whole sorry mess, if you ever are to book a surprise holiday to Marseille, by buying this classy, 100 page lined notebook, wrapping it up in your most nicest wrapping paper and giving it to your partner at the time of your choosing. No need for breakfast in bed, or pancakes, or even jam... sorry, confiture. *this notebook does not contain any facts about Marseille, or any text at all except for a pithy quote at the front by Evelyn Waugh, but you can always search for some facts yourself beforehand and write them down on some of the crisp white lined pages. More personal that way, and everybody loves a personalised gift. Just like everybody who has been there loves Marseille.