Read Books Online and Download eBooks, EPub, PDF, Mobi, Kindle, Text Full Free.
Ho Ho Ho Motherfucker
Download Ho Ho Ho Motherfucker full books in PDF, epub, and Kindle. Read online Ho Ho Ho Motherfucker ebook anywhere anytime directly on your device. Fast Download speed and no annoying ads. We cannot guarantee that every ebooks is available!
Book Synopsis Ho Ho Ho Motherfucker by : xmas 4you
Download or read book Ho Ho Ho Motherfucker written by xmas 4you and published by . This book was released on 2019-11-02 with total page 110 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This notebook is great for personal use, school, for studensts, or for your whole office. The perfect gift for Christmas. Get yours today! Specifications: Cover Finish: Matte Dimensions: 6" x 9" (15.24 x 22.86 cm) Interior: Blank, White Paper, Pages: 110
Book Synopsis Drunken Space Pirates! by : Phoenix Freebird A.
Download or read book Drunken Space Pirates! written by Phoenix Freebird A. and published by Xlibris Corporation. This book was released on 2009-06-30 with total page 575 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Running from a mutinous crew, sucked through a wormhole like in a bad sci-fi movie and slowly running out of booze . . . and that’s just the beginning of this non-traditional story that starts off as a simple captain’s log book and evolves into something more like a really warped and twisted TV show in text. Follow the Captain and crew on a series of seemingly random adventures, where it’s obvious it’s not just the Captain who’s been drinking. At some point you may ask yourself, is all this just coincidence or is there something dark and annoying on the horizon? The Captain seems to have a drinking problem, the problem being he never has enough to drink and people from his past keep showing up and ruining his buzz / Akki a corrupted artificial intelligence who occasionally takes over the Captain’s log has his own plans, mostly self-serving ones because he has nothing better to do. The rest of the crew, pirates, hot chicks, robots and a foul beaked little space penguin round out the Drunken Space Pirates and with all the wise cracks and shots aimed at everyone and everything its clear the alcohol flows rather freely within the D.S.P. Many of the off the wall characters of the D.S.P. are walking guilty pleasures who say what they feel, do what they want and just generally give it to life, pop culture and the universe in general with both barrels . . . and occasionally fish...
Book Synopsis Hack/Slash Deluxe Vol. 1 by : Tim Seeley
Download or read book Hack/Slash Deluxe Vol. 1 written by Tim Seeley and published by Image Comics. This book was released on 2021-04-28 with total page 452 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: At the end of every horror movie, one girl always survives...in this case, Cassie Hack not only survives, she turns the tables by hunting and destroying the horrible slashers that would do harm to the innocent! Alongside the gentle giant known as Vlad, the two cut a bloody path through those who deserve to be put down...hard! Fans have asked for YEARS, and we're finally delivering a fancy oversized hardcover edition, with a new cover and a never-before-seen nine-page story written and drawn by series creator TIM SEELEY! Collects EUTHANIZED, GIRLS GONE DEAD, COMIC BOOK CARNAGE, LAND OF LOST TOYS #1–3, TRAILERS, the SLICE HARD prequel and SLICE HARD, and the hellish crossovers with Chucky and Evil Ernie.
Book Synopsis Things I Want to Punch in the Face by :
Download or read book Things I Want to Punch in the Face written by and published by Prospect Park Books. This book was released on 2015-08-17 with total page 137 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Anger is like an essential vitamin, and Jen has given me even more reasons to be angry. I couldn't be happier or healthier."—Lewis Black, stand-up comedian, actor, author, and regular on The Daily Show The second edition of Things I Want to Punch in the Face brings humor writer Jennifer Worick's newest and most popular diatribes about the most annoying things in everyday life and modern American society, including: Cold-Pressed Coffee TED Talks Evites Cosplay Polar Bear Clubs Family Car Stickers Mixologists Scrabble Yoga Pants #blessed And there's more, so much more. From nail art to Hobbits, passwords to auto-tune, Worick takes aim at the copious bounty of annoyances that irk her shit. And ours. Jennifer Worick has written two dozen books on pop culture, humor, and crafts, including two Worst Case Scenario books (Chronicle), the hit Nancy Drew's Guide to Life (Running Press), and the successful first edition of Things I Want to Punch in the Face (Prospect Park Books). She has toured the nation delivering a hilarious slide show on dating and sex to college students; she co-runs The Business of Books; she writes two blogs; and she has more than twenty-two thousand Twitter followers. Jen lives in Seattle, Washington.
Download or read book Forever Logan written by Elena Matthews and published by Elena Matthews . This book was released on 2020-09-18 with total page 183 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Once upon a time… A sister told her brothers, “Eventually, a girl is going to come along and flip your worlds upside down.” She was right… ...and Logan was the second to fall. From the instant Logan locked eyes on Ally, he knew she was the one. Usually, women flock to him, but the one woman whose attention he wants hates his guts. Lucky for Logan, his twin brother is getting married to Ally’s best friend, and as the best man, Logan is determined to make good use of planning the wedding to his advantage…especially with Ally being the maid of honor. It’s tough, trying to make her fall in love with him when all they do is argue, but slowly, Logan begins to show Ally his worth. Eventually, things between them begin to heat up…and the lust quickly accelerates into something deeper. But will Logan always need to prove himself to Ally because of his past, or will he ruin everything with one stupid bet?
Book Synopsis Gung-Ho Vol. 2 by : Benjamin von Eckartsberg
Download or read book Gung-Ho Vol. 2 written by Benjamin von Eckartsberg and published by Ablaze Publishing. This book was released on 2022-01-19 with total page 180 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: GUNG-HO Vol 2 picks up shortly after the events in “Short Circuit,” where at Fort Apache, the situation is more tense than ever, as the threat posed by the rippers adds to an increasingly difficult life for the colony, which is running out of supplies, heavy weapons and ammunition. In the midst of it all, Archer accuses Bagster of raping Celine, and demands a public trial from Kingsten. But the trial does not go as planned. Instead of Bagster, it's Archer who is accused, betrayed and condemned by false evidence. He is exiled from Fort Apache, and tattooed with a cross on his forehead, a mark that makes him an outlaw, unable to seek refuge in any colony whatsoever. But Zack doesn't believe in his brother's guilt, so an expedition is launched into the danger zone. Unbeknownst to the rest of the community, the teens go to look for Archer, if he is still alive. The expedition will not be without risks though, nor without unpleasant surprises... GUNG-HO Volume 2 collects the next two storylines of the critically acclaimed series, "Sexy Beast" and "Anger," into one terrific, tension-filled volume! BONUS: A complete cover gallery!
Book Synopsis HackSlash: First Cut - Vol.1 by : Tim Seeley
Download or read book HackSlash: First Cut - Vol.1 written by Tim Seeley and published by Devil's Due Digital. This book was released on 2011 with total page 163 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt:
Book Synopsis Hack/Slash Omnibus Vol.1 by : Tim Seeley
Download or read book Hack/Slash Omnibus Vol.1 written by Tim Seeley and published by Image Comics. This book was released on 2010-08-31 with total page 426 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: At the end of every horror movie, one girl always survives...in this case, Cassie Hack not only survives, she turns the tables by hunting and destroying the horrible slashers that would do harm to the innocent! Alongside the gentle giant known as Vlad, the two cut a bloody path through those who deserve to be put down...hard!
Book Synopsis The Tao of Martha by : Jen Lancaster
Download or read book The Tao of Martha written by Jen Lancaster and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2014-05-06 with total page 353 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: One would think that with her impressive list of bestselling self-improvement memoirs Jen Lancaster would have it all together by now. One would be wrong. After all, she’s no Martha Stewart. And that’s why Jen is going to Martha up and live her life according to the advice of America’s overachieving older sister—the woman who turns lemons into lavender-infused lemonade. By immersing herself in Martha’s media empire, Jen embarks on a yearlong quest to take herself, her house, her husband (and maybe even her pets) to the next level—from closet organization to party planning. Maybe Jen can avoid food poisoning if she follows Martha’s dictates on proper storage. Maybe she can rid her workout clothes of meatball stains by using Martha’s laundry tips. Maybe she can create a more meaningful anniversary celebration than getting drunk in the pool with her husband. Again. And maybe she’ll discover that the key to happiness does, in fact, lie in Martha’s perfectly arranged cupboards and charcuterie platters.
Book Synopsis Fuck Off, Holidays, I'm Coloring by : Dare You Stamp Co.
Download or read book Fuck Off, Holidays, I'm Coloring written by Dare You Stamp Co. and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2022-10-25 with total page 112 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Put the holiday stress behind you and tune out all that merriment bullshit with this swear word coloring book. Holidays are stressful. Family dinners. Entertaining. In-laws. Christmas shopping. Crowds. Did we say in-laws? At this time of year, you might just have a resting Grinch face all the time. Sometimes you just need to throw off the tinsel and yell at the top of your lungs for everyone to “fuck off.” When you’ve had a shitty month and just need to vent, give life the proverbial finger and soothe the end-of-the-year stress away with Fuck Off, Holidays, I’m Coloring. Tune out the festive bullshit and unwind with your favorite profanities, belligerent one-liners, and immature insults. Color inside the lines—or out, you can do as you damn well please—and find that inner peace that’s buried in there underneath all that holiday spirit crap. Some of the phrases in this coloring book include: - Sleigh me - You’re a ho ho ho! - On the first day of Christmas, some dipshit gave to me… - Have a shitty New Year - Bah humbug! - Frosty bitch - It’s beginning to feel a lot like fuck this This coloring book features 50 kickass designs for when the holiday season gives you 50 shades of bullshit. Use colored pencils, gel pens, markers, watercolors, or even crayons—these coloring pages are printed on one side so you don’t have to worry about any bleed through ruining your fucking masterpieces. It’s time to ditch the holiday stressors and take out your frustration on these creative and empowering color pages instead. Spike that eggnog, Ebenzer Scrooge, and color through the twelve days of Christmas with Fuck Off, Holidays, I’m Coloring.
Book Synopsis The Christmas Changeup by : Marie Harte
Download or read book The Christmas Changeup written by Marie Harte and published by No Box Books. This book was released on 2021-11-02 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Striking out isn’t an option… A stand-alone holiday heart-warmer that sizzles. Piper Mason remembers Grant Weston as the cute little boy with a crush she’d once babysat, back when she’d been thirteen and he’d been nine. Many years later, Piper is babysitting once again. This time it’s her teenage niece while house-sitting for her brother. Except…no one told her to expect a house guest. A man too good looking to be real with a smile that blinds. A man who plays for a major league baseball team back in town for the holiday. A man who’s returned to make good on his twenty-year old pledge to marry her! And he’s not leaving until he’s rounding home with the girl who got away.
Book Synopsis The Perfect President by : Mark Moorstein
Download or read book The Perfect President written by Mark Moorstein and published by iUniverse. This book was released on 2006-11 with total page 172 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Everyone thinks George W. Bush won the presidential election in November 2000 and served two terms. But Bush didn't win-he didn't even take the Republican nomination. The winner was James Jefferson Jones, or J3, and he became the perfect president. But how did J3 accomplish such a colossal act of deception? The story of how he fooled the citizens of the United States as a modern-day "Wizard of Oz" is told by Smitty, a homeless man who is also one of the architects of J3's victory and term in office. What makes this incredible, of course, is that history books, television, and the Internet of the year 2020 say nothing about J3, his election or his service to the nation. Our entire country suffered amnesia and somehow overlooked J3's part in history. This satire of the presidency spans from the time J3 decides to run with Robert "Beelzebob" Fenster, the richest man in the world, to J3's premature withdrawal from office. From holograms that substitute for actual appearances to assassinations and torture as a way of conducting foreign policy, these events will make you wonder whether they are real or imagined .
Download or read book The Boys Vol 4 written by Garth Ennis and published by Dynamite Entertainment. This book was released on 2009-07-14 with total page 202 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The fourth Dynamite collection of Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson's The Boys is here! All is not well with mysterious millionaire John Godolkin's band of misfits. Silver Kincaid, one of the original G-Men, has just committed suicide in the most public and grotesque way imaginable. That's not good news for Vought-American's number one franchise, with G-Force, G-Coast, G-Style, G-Wiz, the G-Brits and the G-Nomads all depending on their slice of the G-pie. There's far too much at stake for anyone to go poking around the G-Mansion now. Who knows what dirty secrets might be waiting down there in the dark? So it's just too bad that Butcher, Hughie, Mother's Milk, the Frenchman and the Female have decided to do precisely that. Even if they risk finally biting off much, much more than they can chew. The Boys, Vol. 4: We Gotta Go Now collects issues 23-30 of the acclaimed series and features a complete cover gallery including all of the alternate covers from the run (along with the covers by Darick Robertson, John Cassaday, Howard Chaykin, Garry Leach, David Lloyd, Dave Gibbons, Carlos Ezquerra, Steve Dillon and Jim Lee!
Book Synopsis Zombie Spaceship Wasteland by : Patton Oswalt
Download or read book Zombie Spaceship Wasteland written by Patton Oswalt and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2011-11-08 with total page 290 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Prepare for a journey through the world of one of the most creative, insightful, and hysterical voices on the entertainment scene today. Oswalt offers a fascinating look into his most unusual, and lovable, mindscape. He combines memoir with uproarious humor in an inventive account of the evolution of his wildly insightful worldview, sure to indulge his legion of fans.
Download or read book Dangerously Hers written by A.M. Griffin and published by Three Twenty-One, LLC. This book was released on 2017-07-04 with total page 211 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Jess hates aliens. After the invasion that destroyed Earth, the extraterrestrial bastards sold her to a brothel as a sex slave. She may have escaped but the old memories and fears still linger in the dark corners of her mind. Supposedly Sonis is just the place for her—somewhere safe, where she can heal and start fresh. She’s almost hopeful…until she meets Rasha, her new boss. Rasha, Captain of the Sonis Royal Guard, is a warrior through and through. He’s huge, sinfully sexy and could have any woman on Sonis—but the woman he wants is Jess. He’s very much an alien and Jess knows she should hate him or at least be wary, but whenever he’s around, she loses control. She tells herself it’s only sex—amazing, mind-blowing sex like nothing else she’s ever experienced—but there’s something about Rasha that shakes her soul. The feel of his skin against hers, the look in his eyes as he touches her—they make her want to believe it’s possible to find love and begin again.
Download or read book Only Joking written by Jimmy Carr and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2006-09-21 with total page 283 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Britain’s hottest young comedian presents a seriously funny, up-close look at joking matters—from the social origins of laughter, to the art and craft of humor, to why we can never remember the punch line—featuring over 300 jokes. As the host of the hit game show Distraction (now in its third season on Comedy Central) and one of the premier stand-up acts working today, award-winning comedian Jimmy Carr has won over millions of fans around the world with his trademark rapier wit, laced with "exquisitely economical and perfectly timed one-liners" (The Guardian). For this book he teams up with friend and fellow comedy writer Lucy Greeves to take an in-depth look at where humor comes from and how it works, through exploring its purest form: the joke. Only Joking begins with the mechanism of laughter—how it happens and why even infants do it—then delves into the power of the punch line, exploring the basics of all jokes, from the use of shock and surprise to advanced stand-up techniques such as the "pull-back/reveal." Carr and Greeves go on to explore taboo humor, jokes that bomb, and the psychology of finding something funny. They look into the long-standing connection between politics and humor, and discuss the survival prospects for contentious jokes in the current political climate. Throughout the book they conjure up a supporting cast of colorful joke enthusiasts, from Sigmund Freud to Lenny Bruce, and discuss their influence on the jokes we tell today. Surveying across national, ethnic, and gender divides, this rollicking analysis of why joking will always be close to the human heart is an irresistible exploration of humor that makes clear why we need a good laugh now more than ever.
Download or read book Sad Janet written by Lucie Britsch and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2021-06-15 with total page 289 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Named one of the Best Books of the Summer by Lit Hub, The Millions, Refinery29, and Hey Alma. “Hilarious, wise, wicked, and tender.” —Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney, The New York Times–bestselling author of The Nest Janet works at a rundown dog shelter in the woods. She wears black, loves The Smiths, and can’t wait to get rid of her passive-aggressive boyfriend. Her brain is full of anxiety, like “one of those closets you never want to open because everything will fall out and crush you.” She has a meddlesome family, eccentric coworkers, one old friend who’s left her for Ibiza, and one new friend who’s really just a neighbor she sees in the hallway. Most of all, Janet has her sadness—a comfortable cloak she uses to insulate herself from the oppressions of the wider world. That is, until one fateful summer when word spreads about a new pill that offers even cynics like her a short-term taste of happiness . . . .just long enough to make it through the holidays without wanting to stab someone with a candy cane. When her family stages an intervention, her boyfriend leaves, and the prospect of making it through Christmas alone seems like too much, Janet decides to give them what they want. What follows is life-changing for all concerned—in ways no one quite expects. Hilarious, bitterly wise, and surprisingly warm, Sad Janet is the depression comedy you never knew you needed.
