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Dads Say The Dumbest Things
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Book Synopsis Dads Say the Dumbest Things by : Bruce Lansky
Download or read book Dads Say the Dumbest Things written by Bruce Lansky and published by . This book was released on 1989 with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Fatherly expressions so dumb, they're funny. Here's the perfect gift for the father who thinks he knows everything -- and the family that has to put up with him. Dads Say the Dumbest Things! contains all of the mindless expressions and advice that fathers offer when they can't think of anything intelligent to say, like these: I'm the boss and what I say goes. Why? Because I say so. Don't ask me, ask your mother. What do you want an allowance for? When I was your age I had to work for my allowance. Didn't we give you lunch money last week? How well do you know this guy who wants to take you to a drive-in movie? Your mother did tell you about the birds and the bees, didn't she? I wasn't waiting up for you. I was reading the newspaper. The book includes 23 photos of famous TV dads who have raised stupid sayings to an art form.
Book Synopsis Reader's Digest Dumb Dad Stories by : Editors of Readers Digest
Download or read book Reader's Digest Dumb Dad Stories written by Editors of Readers Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2020-04-07 with total page 261 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Editors of Reader’s Digest present a hilarious collection of dumb people doing dumb things. Every day in America we are bombarded by stupidity; sometimes we just shake our heads, but most of the time we get a good laugh out of the really dumb things people do and say. In this collection of dumb stories we poke a little fun at the unbelievably dumb things that happen in our lives and have a good chuckle along the way. You’re a dumb criminal if…you’re not picky about your office locations. Christopher Exley of Everett, Washington, was arrested for conducting a drug deal over the phone—in the bathroom of the Everett Police Department. During my brother-in-law’s first performance review, his boss said, “I’m not quite sure what it is you do here. But whatever it is, could you do it faster?” --Jeanie Waara, Philip, SD In an attempt to balance work and motherhood, I delegated the grocery shopping to my young babysitter. But the job proved a tad daunting. One day while I was at work, she texted me from the supermarket. “Can’t find Brillo pads,” she wrote. “All they have are Tampax and Kotex.” --Kimberly Clark, Alpharetta, GA I overheard an elderly gentleman tell his friend that he couldn’t meet him the next day because he had to go to the hospital for an autopsy. His friend was sympathetic: “I had one of those last year. Luckily it wasn’t serious.” --Tracy Moralee, Hitchin, Great Britain
Book Synopsis Sh*t My Dad Says by : Justin Halpern
Download or read book Sh*t My Dad Says written by Justin Halpern and published by Harper Collins. This book was released on 2010-05-04 with total page 180 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society.” —Chelsea Handler “Read this unless you’re allergic to laughing.” —Kristen Bell “If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” —Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like Tuesdays with Morrie meets F My Life in this hilarious book about a son’s relationship with his foul-mouthed father by the 29-year-old comedy writer who created the massively popular Twitter feed of the same name.
Book Synopsis Reader's Digest Dumb Dad Jokes by : Reader's Digest
Download or read book Reader's Digest Dumb Dad Jokes written by Reader's Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2019-05-07 with total page 216 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Is your dad funny? Is he funny looking? Just kidding. In the Reader's Digest Dumb Dad Jokes we have compiled some of the funniest jokes, riddles, and one-liners that can be shared across generations, around the dinner table or the campfire. Truly, there's something for everyone from 6 to 106. "Knock! Knock! Who's there? Justin. Justin who? Justin the neighborhood and thought I'd come over." Most dads get their best material from their families. And that's what we have here: a collection of riddles, jokes, one-liners, hilarious anecdotes and pointed wit that see families for what they truly are--our chief source of amusement! Reader's Digest has a long tradition of providing our readers with laughter through our many columns in the magazine. This collection is pulled right from that humorous source. "Did you hear that NASA has launched several cows into orbit? It was the herd shot around the world!"
Book Synopsis My Dad Thinks He's Funny by : Katrina Germein
Download or read book My Dad Thinks He's Funny written by Katrina Germein and published by Candlewick Press. This book was released on 2013-04-09 with total page 33 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A gift-appropriate story for kids features a long-suffering boy's eye-rolling observations of his father's bombastic and often corny sense of humor, which is comprised of groan-out-loud puns and wisecracking rejoinders.
Download or read book The Quotable Dad written by Tony Lyons and published by Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.. This book was released on 2004 with total page 334 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Gift Local 05-20-2006 $12.99.
Book Synopsis The Dumb Book by : Editors of Readers Digest
Download or read book The Dumb Book written by Editors of Readers Digest and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2014-03-18 with total page 214 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The old adage truth is stranger than fiction can also be construed as truth is funnier than fiction and we see no shortage of real people doing and saying dumb things and making us laugh in the process. The Editors of Reader’s Digest present a hilarious collection of dumb people doing dumb things. Every day in America we are bombarded by stupidity; sometimes we just shake our heads, but most of the time we get a good laugh out of the really dumb things people do and say. In our first collection of dumb stories we poke a little fun at the unbelievably dumb things that happen in our lives and have a good chuckle along the way. “You’re a dumb criminal if…You’re not picky about your office locations. Christopher Exley of Everett, Washington, was arrested for conducting a drug deal over the phone—in the bathroom of the Everett Police Department.” “During my brother-in-law’s first performance review, his boss said, “I’m not quite sure what it is you do here. But whatever it is, could you do it faster?” --Jeanie Waara, Philip, SD “In an attempt to balance work and motherhood, I delegated the grocery shopping to my young babysitter. But the job proved a tad daunting. One day while I was at work, she texted me from the supermarket. “Can’t find Brillo pads,” she wrote. “All they have are Tampax and Kotex.” --Kimberly Clark, Alpharetta, GA “I overheard an elderly gentleman tell his friend that he couldn’t meet him the next day because he had to go to the hospital for an autopsy. His friend was sympathetic: “I had one of those last year. Luckily it wasn’t serious.” --Tracy Moralee, Hitchin, Great Britain
Book Synopsis The Little Red Book of Dad's Wisdom by : Nick Lyons
Download or read book The Little Red Book of Dad's Wisdom written by Nick Lyons and published by Simon and Schuster. This book was released on 2011-05-01 with total page 133 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: A collection of more than 270 memorable quotations about the relationships between fathers and their sons and daughters—some wise, some thoughtful, and some downright hilarious. The musings, advice, and observations inside are drawn from famous writers, politicians, actors, comedians, athletes, businessmen, and philosophers. Complete with a new foreword by Nick and Tony Lyons, The Little Red Book of Dad's Wisdom is the perfect Father’s Day—or any day—gift for dad.
Book Synopsis Moms Say The Funniest Things by : Bruce Lansky
Download or read book Moms Say The Funniest Things written by Bruce Lansky and published by Running Press Adult. This book was released on 1992-04-25 with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bruce Lansky, coauthor of Dads Say the Dumbest Things!, has created a delightful confection for Mother's Day. Almost every expression that moms use to educate, discipline, and drive their children up the wall is in this book.
Book Synopsis Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old by : Steven Petrow
Download or read book Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old written by Steven Petrow and published by Citadel. This book was released on 2021-06-29 with total page 274 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on award-winning journalist Steven Petrow's wildly popular New York Times essay, "Things I'll Do Differently When I Get Old." Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical. The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way... In Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’” Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding. Praise for Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: “Unbelievably witty and relatable, I alternated bursting into laughter and placing my hand over my face in horror thinking, Oh my God, is that me? I often say, at this age we have something young people can never have…wisdom. My dear friend, Steven Petrow, has wisdom to share in this honest, funny, wry guide to keep us young at heart, without desperately hanging onto our youth. I am buying this book for all of my friends!” —Suzanne Somers, New York Times bestselling author of A New Way to Age “Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old is an irreverent, funny, honest look at aging and all the things we take for granted as normal parts of aging. They don’t need to be. If you struggle with getting older and want to find a fresh perspective on lessons learned about what NOT to do as we age, and what TO do to stay young in heart, spirit, mind and body, read this book.” —Mark Hyman, MD, #1 New York Times bestseller author of The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet, and Head of Strategy and Innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine. “Steven Petrow resolved to do things differently than his parents had when he gets old because he wished they’d been able to enjoy life more. His solution? He created a list! In this book, he shares the secrets to living a full life regardless of our age. It's all about the decisions we make every day. My advice in a nutshell: Read this book and keep it handy.” —“Dear Abby” (Jeanne Phillips), nationally syndicated advice columnist “It’s never too early to imagine what your life will look like as you age. And as I once wrote, ‘We are not hostages to our fate.’ Petrow’s book will help you plan, think, and redefine what it means to get older—and even laugh while doing it.” —Andrew Weil, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Spontaneous Healing and Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to Your Well-Being “Steven Petrow not only has a great attitude about life, he is wise about how to live it. Like me, he says we should embrace our one life 100% and not let a number—our age—get in the way of anything! Steven’s book will help you rethink the word “aging” and approach this next chapter with a positive and proactive attitude. Plus, this book is fun!” —Denise Austin, renowned fitness expert, author, and columnist “Steven’s writing feels like sitting with a friend—one who is unusually gracious, warm and frank.” —Carolyn Hax, author of the nationally syndicated advice column, Carolyn Hax Praise for Steven Petrow: "Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners helps gays and straights navigate the subtleties of the same-sex world." —People "Move over, Emily Post! When it comes to etiquette for members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community—as well as their straight friends, family members and coworkers--author and journalist Steven Petrow is the authority." —TIME "What could've easily become a novelty book has emerged as an exhaustively researched, essential resource thanks to advice columnist and etiquette expert Steven Petrow." —The Advocate "From having kids to planning funerals, Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners has most facets of gay life covered. Ms. Post would approve." —Entertainment Weekly "An indispensable refresher course...on what's proper in modern...life." —Kirkus Reviews
Book Synopsis The King Of The Dad Jokes by : Joe Dyson
Download or read book The King Of The Dad Jokes written by Joe Dyson and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2015-02-08 with total page 140 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An article in The Huffington Post referred to Joe Dyson as "The King of the Dad Jokes" because of his 500 joke filled videos on his Youtube channel, "DysonShow500". Now, Joe is releasing many of those gags in his new joke book, "The King of the Dad Jokes. Let the laughing begin...
Download or read book Bench Brawl written by Trevor Kew and published by James Lorimer & Company. This book was released on 2014-09-26 with total page 130 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The Helmets and the Gloves have been cross-river rink rivals forever, so when the league decides to merge the two teams to represent their small B.C. town at a big invitational hockey tournament in Vancouver, Luke and his friends are furious. To make matters worse, the coach responsible for the merger is Lukes own father! Nothing is going right for the newly formed Great River Vikings -- they seem to be more willing to fight amongst themselves than to battle against their opponents. It will take an outsider -- a new kid from Quebec -- to teach the locals the true meaning of sportsmanship and what it means to be winners for the hometown they represent.
Book Synopsis Dad's Great Advice for Teens by : Marc Fienberg
Download or read book Dad's Great Advice for Teens written by Marc Fienberg and published by Story Press. This book was released on 2020-09-01 with total page 174 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The perfect gift to help a teenager get happy, be successful, and make good decisions. Being a teen ain't easy. And unfortunately, there aren't any classes to help navigate through those teen years. Luckily, Dad's Great Advice for Teens provides 25 short pieces of unorthodox Great Advice, filled with humor, wisdom, and inspirational quotes, to help teens: · Build confidence · Be productive with their time · Develop close relationships · Make good decisions · Take smart risks · Follow their passion · Trust their gut · Take action toward their goals · Create new, positive habits · Stay positive when problems arise · Make a difference in the world Dad’s Great Advice for Teens will help teens become the best version of themselves they can possibly be. And because all the Great Advice has been researched and gathered by a dad who tested it successfully on his own teens and others, you can trust that it’s for real, and it works. Recommended reading by some of the most respected teen coaches, this is a must-read manual with all the stuff that every teen needs to know about friends, social media, drinking, smoking, vaping, dating, sex, parents, peer pressure, dealing with gossip, and being happy. Get the book that teens (and parents) are raving about. Dad’s Great Advice for Teens is a great birthday or graduation gift from Dad, Mom, or anybody for teenage girls and teenage boys, from middle school students to high school students. It’s the perfect self-help survival and success guide for teens looking to build positive habits and get an edge up. This version of the book includes bonus material from: · Dad’s Great Advice for College Students · Dad’s Great Advice for Everyone · Dad’s Great Advice for New Drivers And a special offer inside to get a free copy of: · Dad’s Challenge Checklist for Teens · Dad’s Top 10 Greatest Great Advice of All Time Take action now to get happy and successful…
Book Synopsis B, My Name Is Bunny by : Norma Fox Mazer
Download or read book B, My Name Is Bunny written by Norma Fox Mazer and published by Open Road Media. This book was released on 2015-06-16 with total page 132 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Bunny is funny, but that doesn’t mean she’s totally clueless when it comes to more serious matters With her quick wit and lighthearted personality, Bunny Larrabee can make people laugh about almost anything. She collects knock-knock jokes, riddles, and all kinds of comedy routines to try out on her best friend, Emily. The only thing Bunny doesn’t find humor in is her unusual name—she’s heard jokes about it her whole life, and none of them are funny. So when an impossibly gorgeous guy starts talking to her at a concert, Bunny opens her mouth and says two fateful words: “I’m Emily.” It’s just one tiny lie, but it will drive a wedge between the two best friends. And with what looks like more serious misfortune on the horizon, Bunny will need Emily’s friendship and advice more than ever.
Book Synopsis Dead People Suck by : Laurie Kilmartin
Download or read book Dead People Suck written by Laurie Kilmartin and published by Rodale. This book was released on 2018-02-13 with total page 210 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An honest, irreverent, laugh-out-loud guide to coping with death and dying from Emmy-nominated writer and New York Times bestselling co-author of Sh*tty Mom Laurie Kilmartin. Death is not for the faint of heart, and sometimes the best way to cope is through humor. No one knows this better than comedian Laurie Kilmartin. She made headlines by live-tweeting her father’s time in hospice and her grieving process after he passed, and channeled her experience into a comedy special, 45 Jokes About My Dead Dad. Dead People Suck is her hilarious guide to surviving (sometimes) death, dying, and grief without losing your mind. If you are old and about to die, sick and about to die, or with a loved one who is about to pass away or who has passed away, there’s something for you. With chapters like “Are You An Old Man With Daughters? Please Shred Your Porn,” “If Cancer was an STD, It Would Be Cured By Now,” and “Unsubscribing Your Dead Parent from Tea Party Emails,” Laurie Kilmartin guides you through some of life’s most complicated moments with equal parts heart and sarcasm.
Book Synopsis The Link: The Betrayal by : Makala Thomas
Download or read book The Link: The Betrayal written by Makala Thomas and published by Lulu.com. This book was released on 2016-01-31 with total page 452 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Indulge yourself in book five of The Link series! Colette and Rudisha Gibson are back in a tale of more magic, fun, shocks and of course drama! Maurice Blackwell returns, desperate for Colette to be his.... and his attempts to get her are utter madness! Colette reveals her magical powers to the town, shocking Rudi but not surprising anyone else, as rumours about Colette being a witch had always been hot on everyone's tongue! Someone from Colette's past returns in full swing, joining Maurice Blackwell in his crazy advances and completely betraying Colette! Who is this person and why would they help Mad Maurice Who else betrays Colette and how does Rudi find out? Find out now in this fun, drama-prone, magical tale by Makala Thomas!
Book Synopsis Rescued by the Single Dad by : Whitley Cox
Download or read book Rescued by the Single Dad written by Whitley Cox and published by Whitley Cox. This book was released on 2024-04-06 with total page 520 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: What happens when the brewery prince falls for the mermaid and ends up endangering his entire kingdom? Welcome to San Camanez, a humble, peaceful little island in the Puget Sound and home to the McEvoy brothers. Four sexy single fathers—and one childless snack with a beard—who run a brewpub on the beach, raise their kids together, and hope to find love and happiness in the chaos that is life. This is Clint’s story ... Single Dad and brewmaster Clint McEvoy went down to the beach to drink and wallow. He never expected to find a Hollywood starlet naked and unconscious on the rocks. Nor did he expect to learn that someone wants her dead. He’ll do whatever he can to keep Brooke safe, even if that means risking his heart and his family’s peaceful life to do it. Brooke Barker didn’t see it coming. One minute, she’s on a yacht, celebrating the release of her latest film, the next, she’s fighting for her life in the frigid Puget Sound. Waking up on Clint’s couch was a blessing she’s not sure she deserves. Now, she needs to figure out who pushed her while allowing the world to think she’s dead. One thing that’s alive and well, though? Her attraction to Clint, and her growing affection for his young daughter. Can Brooke keep her heart out of the equation, and also keep the McEvoy family safe? Or will hiding on the island and in Clint’s bed bring danger to their doorstep? keywords: single dad, overboard actress, little mermaid, washed ashore, whodunnit?, murder mystery, small town, hippy island, brewery, widower, brotherhood, brewpup, widowed brothers, fighting the big fight against the establishment, forced proximity, hero complex, savior complex, military, marine, rom-com.
