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An Idiot Girls Christmas
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Book Synopsis An Idiot Girl's Christmas by : Laurie Notaro
Download or read book An Idiot Girl's Christmas written by Laurie Notaro and published by Random House Digital, Inc.. This book was released on 2005 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Humorist Laurie Notaro, author of "The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club," returns with a collection of the most hilarious stories from the most wonderful--and dreadful--time of the year.
Book Synopsis An Idiot Girl's Christmas by : Laurie Notaro
Download or read book An Idiot Girl's Christmas written by Laurie Notaro and published by Villard. This book was released on 2005-11-01 with total page 160 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: IT’S LAURIE NOTARO’S HOLIDAY HANDBOOK. PREPARE TO LAUGH YOUR TINSEL OFF. It’s the most wonderful–and most dreadful–season of the year, when boxes of truffles attack your thighs, drunken holiday revelers stay long past their welcome, and your grandmother has conniptions at the department store over the price of hand lotion. Welcome to Laurie Notaro’s Christmastime. In ten brand-new stories and three previously published favorites, Notaro shares the sidesplitting daily disasters of the holidays, like finding herself on emergency feminine product recon at midnight on Christmas Eve; surrendering to the inevitable Horrible Gift Parade by simply asking for holiday dish towels and giant white underpants from Sears; battling the morons in line at the Seventh Circle of Hell, otherwise known as the do-it-yourself craft store; and trying to live down her reputation as the Most Unfun Christmas Party Guest Ever, due to an unfortunate misunderstanding involving a fake overdose and emergency paramedics. So whether you find yourself at the Dull and Smart Party or the Raucous and Stupid Party this holiday season, you’ll always know where to find Laurie–just follow the chocolate trail over to the cheese platter. She’ll be the one dialing the cops.
Book Synopsis The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death by : Laurie Notaro
Download or read book The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death written by Laurie Notaro and published by Villard. This book was released on 2008-06-24 with total page 241 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Laurie Notaro has an uncanny ability to attract insanity—and leave readers doubled over with laughter. Need proof? Check out The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death and try not to bust a gut. Join Notaro as she experiences the popular phenomenon of laser hair removal (because at least one of her chins should be stubble-free); bemoans the scourge of the Open Mouth Coughers on America’s airplanes and in similarly congested areas; welcomes the newest ex-con (yay, a sex offender!) to her neighborhood; and watches, against her own better judgment, every Discovery Health Channel special on parasites and tapeworms that has ever aired—resulting in an overwhelming fear that a worm the size of a python will soon come a-knocking on her back door. In Notaro’s world, strangers are stranger than fiction. One must always check the hotel bathroom for hobo hairs and consciously remember not to stare at old men with giant man-boobies. And then there are the lessons she has learned the hard way: Though it may seem like a good idea, it’s best not to hire a tweaked-out homeless guy to clean up your yard. The Plain Dealer says that Laurie Notaro is “a scream, the freak-magnet of a girlfriend you can’t wait to meet for a drink to hear her latest story.” With The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, Notaro proves she’s not only funny but resigned to the fact that you can’t look bad ass in a Prius. Don’t even try.
Book Synopsis The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club by : Laurie Notaro
Download or read book The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club written by Laurie Notaro and published by Villard. This book was released on 2002-07-02 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER “I’ve changed a bit since high school. Back then I said no to using and selling drugs. I washed on a normal basis and still had good credit.” Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends—and that’s before she even puts on a bra. For the past ten years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences. She writes about a world of hourly-wage jobs that require absolutely no skills, a mother who hands down judgments more forcefully than anyone seated on the Supreme Court, horrific high school reunions, and hangovers that leave her surprised that she woke up in the first place. The misadventures of Laurie and her fellow Idiot Girls (“too cool to be in the Smart Group”) unfold in a world that everyone will recognize but no one has ever described so hilariously. She delivers the goods: life as we all know it.
Download or read book Firefly Lane written by Kristin Hannah and published by St. Martin's Press. This book was released on 2008-02-05 with total page 532 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From the New York Times bestselling author Kristin Hannah comes a powerful novel of love, loss, and the magic of friendship. . . . now a #1 Netflix series! In the turbulent summer of 1974, Kate Mularkey has accepted her place at the bottom of the eighth-grade social food chain. Then, to her amazement, the "coolest girl in the world" moves in across the street and wants to be her friend. Tully Hart seems to have it all---beauty, brains, ambition. On the surface they are as opposite as two people can be: Kate, doomed to be forever uncool, with a loving family who mortifies her at every turn. Tully, steeped in glamour and mystery, but with a secret that is destroying her. They make a pact to be best friends forever; by summer's end they've become TullyandKate. Inseparable. So begins Kristin Hannah's magnificent new novel. Spanning more than three decades and playing out across the ever-changing face of the Pacific Northwest, Firefly Lane is the poignant, powerful story of two women and the friendship that becomes the bulkhead of their lives. From the beginning, Tully is desperate to prove her worth to the world. Abandoned by her mother at an early age, she longs to be loved unconditionally. In the glittering, big-hair era of the eighties, she looks to men to fill the void in her soul. But in the buttoned-down nineties, it is television news that captivates her. She will follow her own blind ambition to New York and around the globe, finding fame and success . . . and loneliness. Kate knows early on that her life will be nothing special. Throughout college, she pretends to be driven by a need for success, but all she really wants is to fall in love and have children and live an ordinary life. In her own quiet way, Kate is as driven as Tully. What she doesn't know is how being a wife and mother will change her . . . how she'll lose sight of who she once was, and what she once wanted. And how much she'll envy her famous best friend. . . . For thirty years, Tully and Kate buoy each other through life, weathering the storms of friendship---jealousy, anger, hurt, resentment. They think they've survived it all until a single act of betrayal tears them apart . . . and puts their courage and friendship to the ultimate test. Firefly Lane is for anyone who ever drank Boone's Farm apple wine while listening to Abba or Fleetwood Mac. More than a coming-of-age novel, it's the story of a generation of women who were both blessed and cursed by choices. It's about promises and secrets and betrayals. And ultimately, about the one person who really, truly knows you---and knows what has the power to hurt you . . . and heal you. Firefly Lane is a story you'll never forget . . . one you'll want to pass on to your best friend.
Book Synopsis A Simple Christmas by : Mike Huckabee
Download or read book A Simple Christmas written by Mike Huckabee and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2012-11-06 with total page 256 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: “Every Christmas, I still think about that guitar and the sacrifice it represented. And I hope I don’t forget to think about the greatest sacrifice of all, God’s gift of Himself.” Christmas has become synonymous with shopping, overindulging, competition, and stress. But according to Mike Huckabee (who was a pastor before getting into politics), that was never God’s intention. Going back to the Nativity, Christmas is supposed to be about simple things: faith, love, family, and hope. The hard part, in today’s crazy world, is remembering that those simple things are the most precious of all. Now Huckabee recounts twelve Christmas memories—often funny, sometimes deeply moving—that range from his childhood in Arkansas to his years as a young husband and father to his time as a governor and then a presidential candidate. These true stories will help you smile, take a deep breath, and maybe slow down your own holiday treadmill. If you’re looking for a little clarity, sanity, and inspiration at this insane time of year, you’re sure to enjoy A Simple Christmas.
Book Synopsis Yours for Christmas by : Susan Mallery
Download or read book Yours for Christmas written by Susan Mallery and published by Harlequin. This book was released on 2014-10-28 with total page 107 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Step out of the winter chill and into the warmth of Fool's Gold, California, the charming small-town setting for a new holiday novella from New York Times bestselling author Susan Mallery Famous former NFL stars don't date single working moms like Bailey Voss. She'll allow herself to daydream about Kenny Scott's muscles and killer smile, but wanting more would lead to post-holiday regret. Then Kenny volunteers to run a toy drive with Bailey, and she learns that he's not just hot…he's also generous, funny, nice. The whole package—tantalizingly out of reach. The ache of past loss reminds Kenny why he needs to avoid getting too close to anyone. Especially to a gorgeous redhead and her adorable little girl. Mess it up, and he'd lose them both. Yet Kenny can only resist Bailey for so long. And as festive spirit spreads throughout the town, he's all wrapped up in Bailey's sweet, sexy kisses and determined to make this the first of many Christmases together…
Book Synopsis The Summer of Christmas by : Juliet Giglio
Download or read book The Summer of Christmas written by Juliet Giglio and published by Sourcebooks, Inc.. This book was released on 2022-07-05 with total page 263 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "Christmas has, indeed, arrived early with this romp."—Booklist July is a great time to celebrate Christmas! In the wild world of making a TV Christmas movie, a hot and sunny upstate New York summer becomes a winter wonderland, overnight. But as cool as the fake snow is, when the real life hero gets tangled up with the movie star, the screenwriter grapples for control of the story, and the fans become a hazard to life and limb, it'll take a Christmas miracle to pull everyone together. Up-and-coming LA screenwriter Ivy Green is about to have her life turned upside down. Her movie, based on her and her high school sweetheart's horrible Christmas breakup, is being filmed in her hometown. Nick Shepherd is less than thrilled to see Ivy after all this time. To complicate matters, Ivy has a budding relationship with the producer, the town is overflowing with movie stars and overly-adoring fans, and worst of all—the actress playing Ivy develops a crush on the real Nick! In the end, Ivy will need to re-write her life script to finally get everything she ever wanted.
Book Synopsis A Crime for Christmas by : Carolyn Keene
Download or read book A Crime for Christmas written by Carolyn Keene and published by Turtleback Books. This book was released on 1991-04 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Nancy Drew and the Hardy boys are in New York city together to investigate a pair of big-time cat burglers who are going to try to steal the spectacular crown jewels of Sarconne.
Book Synopsis Anna and the French Kiss by : Stephanie Perkins
Download or read book Anna and the French Kiss written by Stephanie Perkins and published by Usborne Publishing Ltd. This book was released on 2013-12-16 with total page 346 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Anna had everything figured out – she was about to start senior year with her best friend, she had a great weekend job and her huge work crush looked as if it might finally be going somewhere... Until her dad decides to send her 4383 miles away to Paris. On her own. But despite not speaking a word of French, Anna finds herself making new friends, including Étienne St. Clair, the smart, beautiful boy from the floor above. But he's taken – and Anna might be too. Will a year of romantic near-misses end with the French kiss she's been waiting for?
Book Synopsis The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death by : Laurie Notaro
Download or read book The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death written by Laurie Notaro and published by Villard. This book was released on 2009-04-28 with total page 242 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Laurie Notaro has an uncanny ability to attract insanity—and leave readers doubled over with laughter. Need proof? Check out The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death and try not to bust a gut. Join Notaro as she experiences the popular phenomenon of laser hair removal (because at least one of her chins should be stubble-free); bemoans the scourge of the Open Mouth Coughers on America’s airplanes and in similarly congested areas; welcomes the newest ex-con (yay, a sex offender!) to her neighborhood; and watches, against her own better judgment, every Discovery Health Channel special on parasites and tapeworms that has ever aired—resulting in an overwhelming fear that a worm the size of a python will soon come a-knocking on her back door. In Notaro’s world, strangers are stranger than fiction. One must always check the hotel bathroom for hobo hairs and consciously remember not to stare at old men with giant man-boobies. And then there are the lessons she has learned the hard way: Though it may seem like a good idea, it’s best not to hire a tweaked-out homeless guy to clean up your yard. The Plain Dealer says that Laurie Notaro is “a scream, the freak-magnet of a girlfriend you can’t wait to meet for a drink to hear her latest story.” With The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, Notaro proves she’s not only funny but resigned to the fact that you can’t look bad ass in a Prius. Don’t even try.
Book Synopsis The Christmas Sisters by : Sarah Morgan
Download or read book The Christmas Sisters written by Sarah Morgan and published by HQN Books. This book was released on 2018-09-25 with total page 422 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Don't miss North to Home, the Hallmark movie based on The Chistmas Sisters! “The perfect gift for readers who relish heartwarming tales of sisters and love.”—Booklist on The Christmas Sisters In the snowy Highlands of Scotland, Suzanne McBride is dreaming of the perfect cozy Christmas. Her three adopted daughters are coming home for the holidays and she can’t wait to see them. But tensions are running high… Workaholic Hannah knows she can’t avoid spending the holidays with her family two years in a row. But it’s not the weight of their expectations that’s panicking her—it’s the life-changing secret she’s hiding. Stay-at-home mom Beth is having a personal crisis. All she wants for Christmas is time to decide if she’s ready to return to work—seeing everyone was supposed to help her stress levels, not increase them! Posy isn’t sure she’s living her best life, but with her parents depending on her, making a change seems risky. But not as risky as falling for gorgeous new neighbor Luke… As Suzanne’s dreams of the perfect McBride Christmas unravel, she must rely on the magic of the season to bring her daughters together. But will this new togetherness teach the sisters that their close-knit bond is strong enough to withstand anything—including a family Christmas? A messy family drama and a steamy little romance unfold under the Mediterranean sun for the perfect summer escape in The Island Villa, the next heartwarming novel by USA Today bestselling author Sarah Morgan!
Book Synopsis I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas by : Lewis Black
Download or read book I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas written by Lewis Black and published by Penguin. This book was released on 2010-11-02 with total page 116 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: From Lewis Black, the uproarious and perpetually apoplectic New York Times-bestselling author and Daily Show regular, comes a ferociously funny book about his least favorite holiday, Christmas. Christmas is supposed to be a time of peace on earth and goodwill toward all. But not for Lewis Black. He says humbug to the Christmas tradtitions and trappings that make the holiday memorable. In I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas, his hilarious and sharply observed book about the holiday, Lewis lets loose on all things Yule. It's a very personal look at what's wrong with Christmas, seen through the eyes of "the most engagingly pissed-off comedian ever."* From his own Christmas rituals—which have absolutely nothing to do with presents or the Christmas tree or Rudolph—to his own eccentric experiences with the holiday (from a USO Christmas tour to playing Santa Claus in full regalia), I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas is classic Lewis Black: funny, razor-sharp, insightful, and honest. You'll never think of Christmas in the same way. *Stephen King
Book Synopsis We Thought You Would Be Prettier by : Laurie Notaro
Download or read book We Thought You Would Be Prettier written by Laurie Notaro and published by Villard. This book was released on 2005-04-19 with total page 240 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: She thought she’d have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no–it’s happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe “I’m going to kick his hair’s ass!” to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie’s wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her–inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking. Her riffs on e-mail spam (“With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW!!”), eBay (“There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end”), and the perils of St. Patrick’s Day (“When I’m driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens”) are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it’s all true.
Book Synopsis Spooky Little Girl by : Laurie Notaro
Download or read book Spooky Little Girl written by Laurie Notaro and published by Villard. This book was released on 2010-04-13 with total page 322 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: Death is what happens while you’re busy making other plans. Coming home from a Hawaiian vacation with her best girlfriends, Lucy Fisher is stunned to find everything she owns tossed out on her front lawn, the locks changed, and her fiancé’s phone disconnected—plus she’s just lost her job. With her world spinning wildly out of her control, Lucy decides to make a new start and moves upstate to live with her sister and nephew. But then things take an even more dramatic turn: A fatal encounter with public transportation lands Lucy not in the hereafter but in the nearly hereafter. She’s back in school, learning the parameters of spooking and how to become a successful spirit in order to complete a ghostly assignment. If Lucy succeeds, she’s guaranteed a spot in the next level of the afterlife—but until then, she’s stuck as a ghost in the last place she would ever want to be. Trying to avoid being trapped on earth for all eternity, Lucy crosses the line between life and death and back again when she returns home. Navigating the perilous channels of the paranormal, she’s determined to find out why her life crumbled and why, despite her ghastly death, no one seems to have noticed she’s gone. But urgency on the spectral plane—in the departed person of her feisty grandmother, who is risking both their eternal lives—requires attention, and Lucy realizes that you get only one chance to be spectacular in death.
Book Synopsis Catching Christmas by : Terri Blackstock
Download or read book Catching Christmas written by Terri Blackstock and published by Thomas Nelson. This book was released on 2018-10-09 with total page 333 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: An overworked attorney’s grandmother will stop at nothing to find her a date for Christmas in this heartwarming holiday love story about finding what really matters in life. As a first-year law associate, Sydney Batson knows she will be updating her resume by New Year’s if she loses her current case. So when her grandmother gets inexplicably ill while Sydney is in court, she arranges for a cab to take her grandmother to the clinic. The last thing cab driver Finn Parrish wants is to be saddled with a wheelchair-bound old lady with dementia. But because Miss Callie reminds him of his own mother, whom he failed miserably in her last days, he can’t say no when she keeps calling him for rides. Once a successful gourmet chef, Finn’s biggest concern now is paying his rent, but half the time Callie doesn’t remember to pay him. And as she starts to feel better, she leads him on wild-goose chases to find a Christmas date for her granddaughter. When Finn meets Sydney, he’s quite certain she’s never needed help finding a date. Does Miss Callie have an ulterior motive, or is this just a mission driven by delusions? He’s willing to do whatever he can to help fulfill Callie’s Christmas wish. He just never expected to be a vital part of it. Praise for Catching Christmas: “The feel-good Christmas book of the year. Blackstock’s tale of love and redemption wrapped in a holiday bow will leave you smiling. Don’t miss Catching Christmas.”—Rachel Hauck, New York Times bestselling author “Darling and laugh-out-loud cute, Catching Christmas makes the reader think about the important things in life. I read it in one gulp and wished there was more. Highly recommended!”—Colleen Coble, USA TODAY bestselling author “Blackstock weaves a compelling, romantic tale that is sure to get you into the Christmas spirit!”—Denise Hunter, bestselling author Stand-alone romance novel Perfect for gift giving or as a stocking stuffer Hopeful and encouraging Christmas story that will appeal to fans of Hallmark movies Includes discussion questions for book clubs
Download or read book Girl At Christmas written by Rhoda Baxter and published by Juxtaposition Publishing. This book was released on 2017-10-30 with total page 92 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: "It's perfect reading for a cozy holiday night." Amazon review Tammy is normally at her happiest at Christmas, but she's been dumped by her long term partner, with no real explanation... and her Christmas looks pretty bleak. Lawrence has just been told he has an inherited heart condition... and he's not allowed to eat too many mince pies. Not exactly a recipe for a great holiday. With time running out for Lawrence, will he tell Tammy how he feels before it's too late? Girl At Christmas is a standalone novella in the award nominated Smart Girls series. If you like heartwarming, sweet romance and an unusual chubby hero, it's the perfect book for you. Buy Girl At Christmas and reclaim the holiday spirit today!
